Posts Tagged ‘valentinesday’

Just thought I’d do another Valentine’s/love related post before getting ready to bartend for all the mushy folks tonight!

I love ‘love’. I love genuine love. But with every ounce of there is general extract, there is also a bunch of bad apples in the bunch. Toxic love. Lust. Anything but actual love.

Tell-tale signs of toxic, not real love:

• Need to control your partner. You won’t let them talk to anyone, like anything, shut off all communications because you’re damn insecure. Real love trusts. Real love does not take away the person from all they once knew. You got an issue? Handle it like an adult. Also, your partner is a damn adult (unless you’re a teen, still..) and they have the right to make their own decisions. Stop being an assclown.

• Basing their worth because of monetary stature. Love isn’t weighed in the almighty dollar. The time spent, the vibes you give, those silent words unspoken…..those things are worth more than millions. Only focusing on what they physically give you and all things to do with the dollar bill….you’re losing grip on what is love. Cuz that sure as hell ain’t it.

• Plus other things such as narcissism, loaded with negativity and you feel as if they are draining your energy, just wanting to ‘get back’ at someone with your actions all the time….

That ain’t love. Learn what love is .

Love and respect makes the world go around.

Love each other, and let your love glow shine!!


Happy Valentine’s Day, Love Birds!

Since I made a little post on some eccentric pick up lines that will definitely be unique and make your little horror honey squirm with delight in my section, ‘Mortician’s Coroner’, I thought I would address a topic that’s gonna go deep into my mind thoughts- and it was getting a bit quiet in the ‘Inside My Mind’ section, anyways!

The tattoo curse.

The myth.

The legend.


My lovey and I were being all cute and I , of course, decided to be my weird little self and flirt with him (2 years together, and we still flirt! Never give it up!) by saying we should get butt tattoos sometime. Then after a little chuckle we did go into serious conversation about sometime in the future getting tattooed together. All of a sudden, my romantic gears come to a screeching halt as I gasp and utter ever so softly….”B-But….what about the curse?” Totally oblivious to my outburst of silence, he asks me what is the curse.


That curse you were told about the first time you locked eyes on someone, or got your first piece of art on your body…The curse that if dare you chance it, it will curse you and your relationship will be doomed the moment the machine’s needle hits your body?! THAT CURSE?!

After a few breaths and brain functioning again in a logical manner, I decide to try out mythbusting this lochness monster.

Let’s look at our evidence so we can go full blown 8 Stages of FBI Analysis I learned in Sociology.

Alright, so couples get a tattoo as a sign of their love towards each other….there’s nothing in the ink that is cursed by a hoodoo artist or the artist themselves..check…tattoos are a form of commit– WAIT! CASE OPEN-SHUT!

That C word.


Tattoos are a form of commitment, as is love. The real love and real commitment stays. For those who are scared of commitment or this level of commitment- that’s what makes them part. It’s the sudden realization knowing they are now tied down with battleship chains to this marker and their partner, and if it’s true- they will stay….if not, they will run for the hills! (Music puns, all the way!)

That being said, have a long hard talk with your partner to see where you stand – coverups can get expensive! If you know what your love and you have is genuine, or you want a friendship tattoo,etc. Think about the long run…Just make sure you’re both on the same page and not in a drunken stupor going in to a walk in parlour! (Ps- Not a good idea to be intoxicated while being inked, see a latter post of mine on the do’s and don’t’s of tattooing).

Be awesome , love with 110% of you! If you have any cute Valentine’s Day pics, stories, or tattoos- please share!! All the best,


We got some humour too…You just gotta open your eyes and don’t break your stitchings.  Here’s some little humour from yours truly.

  1. Wanna really flatter your loved one and compliment them without the typical , “You’re so stunning!”..Try ‘You’re Open Casket good’…Because you know. Makeup game on point and the wardrobe and all the hard work to look good. Yes huh.
  2. “My love for you burns hotter than any crematorium ever could.” Hot, sizzle. Hopefully not a boom cuz that could cost a lot and have severe damage. Check for metal on the body first.
  3. “You only want me for my body”…..Nope. Well maybe…not yet. Not into -that- sorta thing. But I love you for your mind, too.
  4. “Tag! You’re it”….Oh. This game has just crossed the line.
  5. Get some ‘His and Hearse” Accessories or tattoos…. get it? No? Ok.
  6. On holidays/celebrations like this, celebrate like a mortician and grab a cold one!! Booze. Not bodies. Gosh.
  7. “I’ve got the perfect body…wanna see?” Mine, of course…ha..ha…ha…
  8. What would you like to drink….a Mor-tini? hehe. Side carte of formaline…no?
  9. “We can play doctors and you can examine my body parts…” But drop the “I’m a coroner in training” ….Keep them guessing…they don’t need to know.
  10. “You’re precious like buried treasure”…..Treasure, not bodies. *Facepalm*
  11. “Did you just come fresh outta the crematorium? Cuz your body is smokinnnnn!” Straight up.
  12. “Here’s some flowers to match your dapper looking snazzed up self….You’re a dead knockout!” ….Oooooo what are you implying…
  13. “You’re my place I feel at rest…..I’d be empty and dead without you”……sooo, I’m your coffin?

Stay awesome and creepy! Love your Mistress of Maritime Macabre xx

My favourite time of the year has finally came- Autumn!

Autumn is a chillingly splendid time of the year where you get to drink warm beverages while under a blanket with a loved one, It’s also the time where things start getting a bit spookier and us horror fanatics get all crazy happy since there are waaaaaay more horror movies on the television. Also during the month of October – November, for my American friends – comes the turkey-filled-food-comatose Thanksgiving.

While my family is downstairs preparing for the dinner that they’re having made me think about a lot of things in regards to this holiday.

I mean, holidays always make me question things, so I really should not be surprised. Not just with Thanksgiving, but with other holidays. Well, mainly two holidays have got me thinking : Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day.

On Thanksgiving people gather around a stuffed bird with stuffing rammed up it’s anus and holler and go on about how extremely thankful they are as they chow down on food they’ll be complaining about later for sending them into a food comatose. Maybe it’s just the mildly cynical fool that I am, but….. shouldn’t you be grateful for everything that’s in your life everyday and just not one or two days? You really shouldn’t need one day to clean your house to look like a museum and not a livable place, and act all plastic. I mean, people are there to be together, I don’t think they care if you make your house into a museum that looks like there’s non inhabitants in it.

Another questionable holiday is Valentine’s Day.

I absolutely, positively love love LOVE my amazing boyfriend to Endor and back! (We’re Star Wars fans, so if you’re wondering what the heck Endor is…now you know it’s a Star Wars reference) and I show it every single day, when we talk or when we’re physically together – not in the nauseating, clingy way, of course. It just makes me wonder why people need to show copious amounts of love one day of the year when – once again- you should be loving each other to your full capability to EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR!

Showing even small acts of compassion every day is soooo meaningful to your significant other because it shows you care and think about them every day instead of just one day out of the year. Take my amazing boyfriend, for example. Numerous times he has surprised me with gestures that shows he truly knows the small things that I like. When we went out to a carnival, he got me a dozen American Beauty roses and made it to my house in time when Sweet Child O Mine was on the radio. He didn’t have to, but he knew those things were my favourite and wanted to surprise me without needing a reason or holiday. Also the times he will surprise me like the day he came up to my house before work – I wasn’t even expecting him to come over at all that day- to surprise me. He shows numerous sweet gestures every day and it means a great deal when he remembers the small stuff – non-materialistic and physical objects- that I like. Also when he’s there for me when I’m not feeling entirely up to par….that’s love.

Anyways, what I’m trying to say is to always love and be grateful for those in your life and what you have. A lot of people forget how genuinely lucky we are, and take things for granted. Always tell your family and friends you love/care for them…you never know when it will be taken away- You can’t put your arms around a memory.

That being said, have a fantastic day, and hope you all have a great time with family and friends.