Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Just thought I’d do another Valentine’s/love related post before getting ready to bartend for all the mushy folks tonight!

I love ‘love’. I love genuine love. But with every ounce of there is general extract, there is also a bunch of bad apples in the bunch. Toxic love. Lust. Anything but actual love.

Tell-tale signs of toxic, not real love:

• Need to control your partner. You won’t let them talk to anyone, like anything, shut off all communications because you’re damn insecure. Real love trusts. Real love does not take away the person from all they once knew. You got an issue? Handle it like an adult. Also, your partner is a damn adult (unless you’re a teen, still..) and they have the right to make their own decisions. Stop being an assclown.

• Basing their worth because of monetary stature. Love isn’t weighed in the almighty dollar. The time spent, the vibes you give, those silent words unspoken…..those things are worth more than millions. Only focusing on what they physically give you and all things to do with the dollar bill….you’re losing grip on what is love. Cuz that sure as hell ain’t it.

• Plus other things such as narcissism, loaded with negativity and you feel as if they are draining your energy, just wanting to ‘get back’ at someone with your actions all the time….

That ain’t love. Learn what love is .

Love and respect makes the world go around.

Love each other, and let your love glow shine!!

xxx

Even math says ‘x=y’ …like WHY the hell is that damn EX keep coming up into situations?!

They are not part of the formulae to your present day. Nope.

So here lies the question… WHY do they keep showing up? They’re like when you’re happy..you got an event the next day, you got your nails done, got your clothes all fresh, but when you wake up the next morning… BAM! A big nasty zit is like, ‘HOLA! I CAME TO CRASH YOUR PARTY!’. And that my friends, is what having your ex involved still in your life is like. To that I say: Here lies the past…Rest in peace. *Throw salt* I BANISH THEE, DEMONIC PRESENCE!

Luckily, My past isn’t involved anymore in my present going-on’s. We ended on mutual terms for them both and they respect the idea of moving on with respect. To them: Thank you. Not saying that I hate them at all, no, we have respect. But…we just don’t go about intruding and getting all friendly-friendly in the other person’s lives.

That being said, I don’t get why exes are all up in some people’s lives still with the hugs and cute pet names FULLY KNOWING that it would make themselves uncomfortable if they were put in that same situation. The person no longer is with you. Just give it the fuck up. Got a cute name for the person you were with , but you fucked it up and they are now happy with a way better person? PUT THAT SHIT TO REST. You look pathetic. Clearly, they are not interested in you because you blew the chances being an assclown, so just move on and find a new soul to torment.

Sorry. I got a bit nuts there with the ranting. I just really despise exes trying to get all cutesy and manipulative while their previous partner is happy in a new relationship. The universe attracts what you put out…and honey, you’re putting your energy to waste.

Common topic with this subject…did you notice how it’s mostly the male partner’s exes that are the shit disturbers? I mean, being a female, I don’t actually have ANY run-ins with mine. If crazy shit aligns and we see each other, we will be like ‘hi, bye, kiss my ass, etc.’ then leave. Whereas if an ex female from your male companion comes up to him it’s all like, ‘HUGS! *INSERT PARTNER’S NAME HERE IN ALL CAPS SIGNIFYING THEIR PATHETIC SCREECHING* , OMG! My snookie-wookums! How are you? OMGGGGG remember wheeeeeennnnn _____?! *Eyelash flutters* xoxoxo ‘.

Cut that shit. Ew. Just ew.

To me, that’s totally disrespectful as hell to still be like that. Just be normal. Say hi. Stop with the eye sex and cutesie shit reserved for that person’s partner. How would you like it if someone did that to your guy? Make you shudder and get pissed? Good. That’s how you’re making that poor dame feel. Get some respect for you and others. Just move on. Keep swimming…..into the mouth of a kraken.

I understand though that sometimes male exes can be like that when I was talking to others. Happens a lot less, but still crazy not cool to do. Just don’t do it, anyone.

That being said here is my list of 10 kinda guidelines & summing up in regards to this issue:

  1. You can still be friends. Just realize you don’t have the same title and got to respect the new person. If you can be respectful to them, they will respect you in return. You’ll get so much respect for doing that and you won’t look trashy.
  2. Move on. You’ll only make yourself upset if all you focus on is trying to manipulate your way to try to get them back. Chances are if they are super happy, they won’t even give you the time of a wet dream. That being said, don’t waste your energy putting that into the universe and instead find your sexy stud muffin or sexy kitten and you’ll feel soooo much better.
  3. Stop. Screeching. The. Person’s. Name. This ties in with #1. You look pathetic and you do not have that ‘role’ anymore. Also, respect.
  4. Messaging. With Facebook and cellular phones being at our call all the time, yes that brings the temptation to drunk or sober message your ex-sweetheart. DON’T DO IT. No, they do not want to see a pic of you being cute or sending a cute message. Nor does their partner. You know that “R” word mentioned sooo much here? Respect? Yeah. Get some.
  5. Gestures. Body talk is the second half of the talky-talk. The eye sex, boob squash, bite lip, hair flip bullshit….STOP IT, HO. Giggle…..
  6. How your family ties in (if you’re the ex causing the BS). Just like with yourself, have your family also respect your ex-hunny and his new hunny. Stop trying to get them to hornswaggle him/her back and bring up those memories that makes the new lover feel like they’re going to cry from the breaking of their heart.
  7. Leave the past in the past. It’s got no spot for the future. No one wants that heavy baggage full of trash that is preventing them from becoming a hollywood star. Let it go and shine. Yes, even you EX. Shine like a diamond and attract someone who is meant to be your second half because CLEARLY..the past didn’t work out. Learn. Live and learn from that.
  8. A shade of bitch looks awful on anyone. Resting bitch face, being a bitch…those were just fads. Not something to be proud of. Be the better person and rise above. Being able to let shit go and make a good path for yourself is a look of pure, utter brilliance on everyone!
  9. Don’t be a bitter bitch (continued). Your soul mate is wandering somewhere while you’re trying to change what isn’t meant. This is the universe telling you your soulmate is out there and NOT the past person.
  10. Last but not least, let me re-iterate this most important point : RESPECT!!!! Have respect all around and things will work out fine and dandy in the end. Without respect, how the hell do you ever think someone will respect you? We all deserve respect. But as in anything, it must be earned and not just handed to your ass on a golden platter. Earn it. When you earn that respect, it feels like you’ve won the lottery of life.

 

All things considered, this is a really touchy topic that we all have gone through in our lives let it be with our partner’s exes, our own…or maybe you’re one of these evil nasty exes? In the comments below, please do not hesitate to tell me your thoughts on this subject, your stories and comments are always appreciated!

 

Rock on and don’t be an ass xx

Before I let you all into the dark mind that I have, I just want to say that if you’re under 18, to kinda scoot your butt in the other direction. Yeah, I know that most people under age are having sex under that age even, but just so I don’t get in trouble here I’m posting the 18+ warning.

All good? Let’s go into the dark.

But hey, if you like to get in the mood during the light of day, feel free to leave your lights on. Different strokes for different folks.

Most people are used to – almost like a routine, it seems like- go to bed..take off clothes..get into missionary position..release..sleep.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Heyyyyyy now. Sex is supposed to be an intimate thing; not a chore. So let’s get to the root of the problem.

Most times people skip the main thing. It starts with the letter ‘F’. No, not that word. The other one: Foreplay. Foreplay is vital to not only warm up your partner so it’s not going in dry and making your partner scream- not in the good way.

First begin by setting the mood. Is there a song that makes you feel pure ecstasy and in the mood? Something that makes your partner feel sexy? Either put on a playlist or your favourite album. Light some candles! When you and your partner are just relaxing it will play with the senses and give off a romantic aura.

This part is entirely optional for foreplay since there are different kinds of couples. But maybe you two like to get ideas or try new things. In stores you can get plenty of fun foreplay items that can also be used during sex. Here’s some cool ideas:

Roleplay: Sometimes acting out different scenarios can unleash that part of you that you are afraid of showing. It lets you sometimes let out your inner alter ego that we all secretly wanna portray. You also have your main ones you can find like housemaid, kidnapping,etc. Outfits also tie into this. Check out your local store to find cute items!

Toys, Toys, Toys & Keeping it Clean: These are fantastic to use during foreplay as well as they can be carried on during sex. I highly recommend, toy-wise, for those who are looking for something to please both partners, is the penis vibrating ring. Not only does it give him a great sensation, but it also gives you a great feeling too because it stimulates you as well. Now if you’re looking for another fun for two item , try the bullet vibrator. It comes with a remote control and gives your partner complete control of the intensity- which is the most intense feeling when you don’t know what’s going to happen next. Some of the toys I have myself include a bullet, torpedo vibrator, a vibrator, etc. Main thing I can advise for you all to get – toy or no toy- is sanitary cleaner by Swiss Navy. The Swiss Navy sanitary cleaner can be used to clean both toys after use (never use soap and water! This can give you infections in your vagina) and you can use it as kinda like a spray wash in your nether regions to keep it clean down there since most soaps throw off your PH balance causing gross smell and taste.

Watch an Adult Film Together: I’m going to be completely honest and say that beforehand I would never,ever, ever watch an adult film for I found it crazy uncomfortable watching other people have sex. I think that’s a good thing, aha. But then I thought about it for a moment while having a glimpse while one of my friends were watching it and I looked at it in a different light that benefited me: it gave me ideas to try myself. I won’t lie, I do have my own collection of toys, but honestly, most of the time we just know the basics of using them. After checking out a scene and seeing how they used them, totally gave me ideas on how to use them in cool ways- with or without a partner. Even when not using toys it gave me new ideas on what moves to try. So you don’t really need to watch them to get your jollies, you can also use them to learn, which is healthy.

To end off the topic of the beautiful, passionate world of lovemaking ideas, let me add my list of 10 songs to get ya in the mood for you feisty love machines….well, I find it works for me.

  1. Adrenalize- In The Moment
  2. World On Fire- Slash & Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators
  3. Painkiller- Three Days Grace
  4. Closer- Nine Inch Nails
  5. Sex Type Thing- Stone Temple Pilots
  6. Check My Brain- Alice In Chains
  7. Angel Eyes- New Years Day
  8. 1 AM- Beautiful Creatures
  9. Two Weeks- All That Remains

10. Bleeding Me- Metallica

-x-

As I chill on the swing in my Boba Fett blanket with my laptop, I kinda got inspired to write a little diddy on what exactly is love and the do’s and don’ts of it all.

Love is a feeling unlike any other. You may feel as if you have found the true match when in reality – and to your dismay- it is nothing but a false flame. But what about when you get that feeling unlike any other? What do you do? I know for me I didn’t want to mess anything up.

DO communicate!!! Communication is key for trust to happen! Feel a bit uncomfy or unsure about something? Don’t keep it in and hide it from your partner! That will just make an awkward air around you both and can cause trouble in the long run. If it is love and trust, you both will be able to talk about it and come to a conclusion.

DON’T give up on your loved one just because you have a mild altercation or a mistake happens! The couple that fights through the rough times and comes out still strong will last. Just don’t give up. Here I’m going to refer back to the ‘Do’ just above….communicate and talk about it!

DO take interest in what he/she does! Yeah sure you may not be too fond of it yourself, but that doesn’t mean you should down them! Always support. You are their other half and the person they love and want to make proud most times.

DON’T overcrowd or discourage!! Yes, it’s ok to be worried if they don’t respond after a certain amount of time, but you do not have to be every second of every day asking where their exact location is! Have some trust!!! Even at parties, don’t be afraid to go and talk to your friends and let them talk to theirs- relationships must be able to breathe! It’s ok and normal to step in if things get rough and someone tries to start drama, so it’s all good to kinda step in when that happens.

DO respect each other. Do not poke and prod when they are agitated. Give them some time to calm down. Also respect the fact they are letting their walls down and letting you into their hurt. Don’t cheat and hurt them.

DON’T dwell on the past. Exes are exes for a reason. If you’re constantly comparing – FYI NEVERRRRR compare your current loved one to anyone ever in a negative away – them to your past love interest, they may feel as if you still want them and feel as if they are a second option. Don’t let the awful past get in the way of a bright and beautiful future.

That being said, go on and love! Love is one of the greatest feelings to have and it comes in many forms – not always having to be in a spouse.

If you have any relationship questions, feel free to ask and I will answer.

-x-