Posts Tagged ‘Mortician’

This isn’t fluffy bunny stuff or humour for today’s episode of Mortician’s Coroner , so I highly recommend if you are awkward around talking death- this may not the post for you. If you do find the afterlife interesting- please do stay and feel free to comment and join in on the discussion. We will be covering what happens when a loved one passes and our thoughts with what goes on about funerary services and what is the ‘right thing’. Viewer Discretion is advised.

Looking at other mortician blogs and outlooks I thought of a bunch of questions that I would like to cover with my views. So it’s kind of like my ‘Inside My Mind’ meets ‘Mortician’s Coroner’ on here. Listed are said questions / topics of debate:

  1. Hearses- why do people have so much fear and hatred towards them (I’m pro- hearse- they’re amazing.)
  2. Respect the dead – are you doing what’s right for them or what YOU want?
  3. The new age of Mortuary – Bodies of the future
  4. What it takes- the mentality behind the industry

Short and sweet. Short and sweet. Let’s start with the first topic of debate : Hearses.

I hate seeing people glare at these gorgeously designed vehicles that serve multi purposes. Originally used as ambulances back in olden times, they were used for transportation of bodies- without them you would be taking the dead way, not the hospital way. No, they are not an omen of death, either. Personally, I would love one of these cars! You can go camping, picnic, travel, sell shit outta your car, etc! Might I add, they are beautiful! This topic of debate arose when this hella awesome guy here in NS – proud to say is now a friend of mine, now- encountered some ignoramuses getting their tail feathers ruffled just over his hearse. This hearse is actually one of the most gorgeous ones I have seen around here (thought I’d never see a badass hearse other than the ones I’ve seen on Pimp My Ride, etc) but the immaculate detailing is truly mind blowing and doesn’t look like your everyday hearse. Truly a piece of art. Anyways, these people wanted him to remove the hearse from his driveway because it was making people ‘uneasy’. Umm….really? Why is there a stigma attached? END THE STIGMA!! It’s like people getting uneasy of a police car even though there may be no one in it. It’s just a car that serves a purpose! Hell, for all you know, there could be bodies in a van…but no one’s losing their shit at that. Anyways, in my opinion, hearses are amazing for multi functions inside and out of its mortuary services. Agree or disagree?

Topic #2…. This one gets to me a bit…a lot, actually. I understand the grieving process and this will tie in with the next two subjects as well, a bit, but people for real need to learn to breathe and do the right thing. People get caught up a lot in their own wants and needs after a person dies – proven fact that in grieving, people do not think properly- and act on impulse and make very quick decisions without thinking of the repercussions. Say for instance, Nanna Jo wanted a short and sweet little reception at her house and to be cremated and have her ashes scattered over her cat’s grave- Respect her and carry her wish. Do not go and have a huge, expensive church service where you invite the queen of England and get an expensive coffin where you have U2 perform at her service. Respect. The. Deceased. Being a medium, I communicate with spirits a lot, as well. The last thing you wanna do is have a spirit not at peace- you may not feel them or deal with their angst, but I do. So, do both the deceased and us mediums a favour and just respect their wishes. Also, funerary costs can get quite hefty, as well. Here’s the brutally honest truth even some other mortuary blogs and posts will say about the hidden truth- your grief is used against you. Make a living off of the dead. The most expensive caskets are at the front and will be pushed at you, and since you’re a vulnerable little gaffer at this hard time, it will be used against you, sadly. Please, do not shell out your dough and end up in debt because of some grandiose plan you have- just respect what your deceased one wants without breaking the bank and ending up in bankruptcy. In the end, it all comes down to respect.

Topic #3….New age of mortuary!! People have been talking about this a lot actually around me and I’ve found quite an interest in it as well as have some different ideas. There are sooo many new ways of being recycled, so to speak. You can become a tree…be pressed into a record or some object…etc instead of just having your ashes or body sit there. You can also donate your body parts to help with new studies to help find new cures in medicine simply by donating your cadaver. I think it’s a great idea being able to personally do things with bodies now. Like you can donate your parts and help those in the medicinal field, and you can even make a little necklace to be remembered by or help grow a tree that will last so technically you can live wayyyy longer! Or if you’re a musician like myself, you can have your song or your fav song be turned into a record your loved ones can cherish forever…simply because you gave the gift of music. I find it’s a better way to use ourselves once our spirit body has left to the afterlife and our physical is just chillin’ about. Eh?

Topic #4…What it takes…This one actually got to me and I found it kinda interesting. I love reading up on what happens to us and learning once we pass. But this has got me stuck. Being a medium – physical medium- myself, I find it hard dealing with the energies sometimes at funerals. Yet, I love to console people and help pass on messages to their loved ones to help them. How to make this scale balanced is the question. I feel. I feel too much sometimes being a sensitive and empath. In the industry thought you must be able to balance sympathy with using grieving people – that’s the only part I would fail at. I couldn’t use people …it’s against who I am. It’s the only thing keeping me back working in a job like this. I would be there wanting to console people and help them during this time, but frig I would do an awful job at trying to take every nickel and dime out of their pockets. Yes, being a bartender we learn customer service skills and learn to disassociate ourselves sometimes from our feelings to upsell items…..but….the is a kicker when it comes to dealing with a topic so personal to someone- a death of a loved one. That is the main struggle besides being on call 24/7 and missing out on many events in life. It can be very hard and if you’re not able to disassociate yourself from your beliefs, it can be quite the kicker.

Once again, I’d love to hear everyone’s input on these topics. Thanks for taking the time to tune in.

Love your Mistress of Maritime Macabre xxx

We got some humour too…You just gotta open your eyes and don’t break your stitchings. ┬áHere’s some little humour from yours truly.

  1. Wanna really flatter your loved one and compliment them without the typical , “You’re so stunning!”..Try ‘You’re Open Casket good’…Because you know. Makeup game on point and the wardrobe and all the hard work to look good. Yes huh.
  2. “My love for you burns hotter than any crematorium ever could.” Hot, sizzle. Hopefully not a boom cuz that could cost a lot and have severe damage. Check for metal on the body first.
  3. “You only want me for my body”…..Nope. Well maybe…not yet. Not into -that- sorta thing. But I love you for your mind, too.
  4. “Tag! You’re it”….Oh. This game has just crossed the line.
  5. Get some ‘His and Hearse” Accessories or tattoos…. get it? No? Ok.
  6. On holidays/celebrations like this, celebrate like a mortician and grab a cold one!! Booze. Not bodies. Gosh.
  7. “I’ve got the perfect body…wanna see?” Mine, of course…ha..ha…ha…
  8. What would you like to drink….a Mor-tini? hehe. Side carte of formaline…no?
  9. “We can play doctors and you can examine my body parts…” But drop the “I’m a coroner in training” ….Keep them guessing…they don’t need to know.
  10. “You’re precious like buried treasure”…..Treasure, not bodies. *Facepalm*
  11. “Did you just come fresh outta the crematorium? Cuz your body is smokinnnnn!” Straight up.
  12. “Here’s some flowers to match your dapper looking snazzed up self….You’re a dead knockout!” ….Oooooo what are you implying…
  13. “You’re my place I feel at rest…..I’d be empty and dead without you”……sooo, I’m your coffin?

Stay awesome and creepy! Love your Mistress of Maritime Macabre xx

I am a dark little ball of sunshine and decided to start a new little sub-topic section in this lovely blog of mine: Morticians Coroner. -Get it..instead of Corner?

This fall, the Mistress of Maritime Macabre will be visiting some spooky locations, sharing some creepy goodies, and sharing the haunts of the Maritimes! Sound fun? From both real haunting goodness, to little quirks and attractions- you will not want to miss out on this adventure! Til then…I will be sharing some Mortician humour as well as other little goodies. So keep your eyes peeled..don’t sew them shut…..