Posts Tagged ‘Coroner’

We got some humour too…You just gotta open your eyes and don’t break your stitchings. ┬áHere’s some little humour from yours truly.

  1. Wanna really flatter your loved one and compliment them without the typical , “You’re so stunning!”..Try ‘You’re Open Casket good’…Because you know. Makeup game on point and the wardrobe and all the hard work to look good. Yes huh.
  2. “My love for you burns hotter than any crematorium ever could.” Hot, sizzle. Hopefully not a boom cuz that could cost a lot and have severe damage. Check for metal on the body first.
  3. “You only want me for my body”…..Nope. Well maybe…not yet. Not into -that- sorta thing. But I love you for your mind, too.
  4. “Tag! You’re it”….Oh. This game has just crossed the line.
  5. Get some ‘His and Hearse” Accessories or tattoos…. get it? No? Ok.
  6. On holidays/celebrations like this, celebrate like a mortician and grab a cold one!! Booze. Not bodies. Gosh.
  7. “I’ve got the perfect body…wanna see?” Mine, of course…ha..ha…ha…
  8. What would you like to drink….a Mor-tini? hehe. Side carte of formaline…no?
  9. “We can play doctors and you can examine my body parts…” But drop the “I’m a coroner in training” ….Keep them guessing…they don’t need to know.
  10. “You’re precious like buried treasure”…..Treasure, not bodies. *Facepalm*
  11. “Did you just come fresh outta the crematorium? Cuz your body is smokinnnnn!” Straight up.
  12. “Here’s some flowers to match your dapper looking snazzed up self….You’re a dead knockout!” ….Oooooo what are you implying…
  13. “You’re my place I feel at rest…..I’d be empty and dead without you”……sooo, I’m your coffin?

Stay awesome and creepy! Love your Mistress of Maritime Macabre xx

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I am a dark little ball of sunshine and decided to start a new little sub-topic section in this lovely blog of mine: Morticians Coroner. -Get it..instead of Corner?

This fall, the Mistress of Maritime Macabre will be visiting some spooky locations, sharing some creepy goodies, and sharing the haunts of the Maritimes! Sound fun? From both real haunting goodness, to little quirks and attractions- you will not want to miss out on this adventure! Til then…I will be sharing some Mortician humour as well as other little goodies. So keep your eyes peeled..don’t sew them shut…..