Posts Tagged ‘advice’

Enough is enough! The music scene is already tricky enough to survive in this ‘jungle’, but sometimes the biggest poachers bringing us to our knees – the silent killers- are ourselves! That being said, sometimes we don’t realize how much and what things we do that are putting the nails in our coffin before we even have the chance to make it big. Below I will highlight things that are our silent cyanide, then go a bit in depth! Sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow..but the moment we realize and accept it…the moment we can make the progress and make a change!

So here we ago… try to see what applies to you….it may startle you…


  1. There is more than the door. (Are you being duped at the door? Ditch the door!)
  2. Can you walk this way, or are you just talk?
  3. Ready, set…no? How prepared are you for the stage?
  4. Rock N Roll All night….party when the time is right? How is it affecting your stage performance?
  5. Copyright….. should I , and if so, what?
  6. There is a Science to music! How is your chemistry?
  7. Be open to change!! Sometimes love is blind and we fail to see the truth. Covers and stage banter.
  8. Time is on your side…or is it?
  9. Stage Apparel. ‘Nuff said.


Keep in mind , a lot of these things go hand-in-hand, but there’s the devil in the details that need to be called out! Now that you’ve realized some components that you might be affected by, I want you to keep in mind to keep reading about the others….the details in each may apply more so than you think. So let’s get to it!



There is more than the Door.

I can’t stress this enough!! Having worked door for bands , I have seen bands get duped so many ways and to hear them complain afterwards is so disheartening! There are more deals other than the door rate that can be negotiated with the venue. Also, there are more things that amateur artists to the industry don’t think about (like the Force Majeure/Act of Nature in case some natural disaster or condition happens that prevents you from making the show, that releases both sides of the deal from owing) that can come into play. Main thing is to cover your butt, always! This is a dog eat dog industry. You gotta fight sometimes for what you love. So, how can the door dupe you might you ask? Countless times I’ve seen people try to weasel their way in while you’re taking care of others so they can avoid paying cover. They can also do this by going into the venue a bit earlier and chill at the bar or get food even… so your hands are tied there. You can’t go up and be like, hands up cash out! In the end, all the venue cares about is profit themselves- sad but true. You gotta sometimes have the courage (well you should ALWAYS be like that) especially when you have other acts on the bill. Say for example, the draw didn’t turn out as expected and you had about 50-100 to split between 4 acts…….. AND if any of those bands had to travel outta province/ state….at least that sort of covered their gas? Yeah, not cool. Added to that, they probably would not make the same mistake with you again. Sure, it’s all of your passion,but gas isn’t free. Instrument maintenance isn’t free. Food doesn’t magically appear and bills don’t get paid. That being said, what deals are at your paws that we can help you get the most bang for your buck?
1. Flat or Guarantee Rate : 400$ for playing and providing,etc.

2. Versus: $400 at door or 60% of door (whichever is higher turnout)

3. Plus: 300$ plus 40% of door

4. Points/Split : 60/20/20 of Net

Once you decide on what best suits you and your bill, you can find the optimal way of providing the best payout so everyone isn’t hating each other in the end!



Walk this Way! Don’t just talk it.

Ok, so you got potential audience members anticipating the big show you’ve been promising them- a grandiose spectacular that will have them so mind-blown , they’ll need to be wheeled out of the place from their paralyzed state. Then they get there..the anticipation is real….it’s growing…and growing…and…. nosedive. That big effect show is just a little puff of smoke that Puff the Magic Dragon would shake his head at, and the laser show irked off the dang sharks with frickin’ laser beams. In other words, you promised more than what you could pull off. Therefore you have a disappointed audience that will probably not want to come back to any of your shows other than your loved ones , because you tried to sell them on an unsold dream. I’m going to be using this term again later, but , K.I.S.S (Keep it simple, stupid!) Go for the cool effects, and instead of just blathering on about it, show the audience!! Let them go in not knowing anything , and then they will be truly surprised!! Accumulate cool effects or save up and rent some gear from your savings, if you really wanna wow ’em. Also remember…Que Sera , Sera…what will be , will be. Trust in yourself….you put in the work and SHOW it, not TELL it- the outcome will be greater/


Are you all set?

A lotta bands do it, they got their set list on stage in all pretty or scribbly handwriting or type-set… but how prepared are you for the unexpected things? Being a guitarist and bass guitarist, you must realize there is a chance of broken strings! Keep some handy, if not another guitar handy! And for the love of the higher power…..HAVE A DANG TUNER. New strings come out of tune fast, so yeah…those new shiny strings may be a hella good idea to look all spiffy and not to mention that gliding feeling of those gorgeous slinkies or elixr’s…. but they get outta tune so easy! Hell, look at the climate you’re in- that can change your tuning, too! Keep a pedal tuner handy. Invest. It will be the most important pedal you will ever need. Instrumental part aside , how well do you know your set? It can ruin the flow when a band is chatting and are like ‘well this song? why did you put down this song? we aren’t done it! well we just jammed it yesterday!’…. be comfortable with your set and have confidence, so that sheet of paper is just a decorative piece to chuck at fangirls and fanboys at the end of the night, along with that drumstick that smacked off of their head. Just like with the music and lyrics- the less you gotta think about what’s written….the more natural it will come out. Be confident, dudes and dudettes… you got this.


Rock N Roll All Night and Party Every Day


Oh the glamour of the music scene. Parties, booze, that drunken person worshipping the ground you walk on as you shotgun a beer….. stay up til the wee AM where you gotta head back on the road again for another night. What about the repercussions? Nah, we don’t have them, we’re majestic unicorns! Rules don’t apply to us!!! Get off your high horse. Living off of no sleep, junk food, and 24 packs will not let you be at your best and will not keep you surviving in this industry and health wise. It’s ok to have fun, have a party here and there, and the odd drinks. But the moment it starts affecting your performance? Buddy, you dun’ effed up. I’ve noticed this on stage at a few shows now, and some happening more frequent from same bands than others…’s ok to have a drink before hand..but don’t be so damn inebriated you’re constantly screwing up your own songs. It looks even more bad if your parts are easy. Maybe they have stage jitters, or it’s the adrenaline…or drinks…or all combined…but for real…learn to calm it down a bit….all in moderation. You’re there for the music, wait to party and get loaded if you wish after. It just looks crazy bad- and sounds bad too- if it’s impacting your performance.




Be like Dave’s hot sauce and put that sh*t on everything. First thing if you’re wanting to become a pro band , is to trademark your name. Copyright it too. Cover your ass! Your songs, your album…copyrightttt itttt. That way if Thor LeGorgeAss digs your crooning word ability and finds your song lyrics so delectable he snatches them and claims it as his own…’re not left there throwing your mic, and wanting to bash his head in. People say Poor Man’s Copyright is legit….sadly, it’s not. It doesn’t cost much either to fill out trademark and copyright forms, so just do it!! Protect yourself!! Also the rights to airplay…here we have what is called SOCAN, that anytime the artist’s songs get played on air , they get some cash! Look, you guys! Money and free promo!!! 2 in 1 deal!! Highly recommended. Just protect yourself. Think of it as sex….you ready for a baby? If you aren’t, protect yourself and your money! Got it?


She Blinded Me With Science!

You know all those who said, ‘You’re artsy and not mathematically/scientifically inclined?’ Well big raspberry in the face to them. Ok, angsty. My Bad. But human chemistry is so damn important when it comes to the stage it needs to be bolded and brought to the forefront! As in any relationship, there’s gotta be that bubbling chemistry that attracts the atoms. Ok.. you get it. There needs to be two kinds going on relationship wise: The relationship chemistry with your bandmates, AND the chemistry between you dynamos and the sea of adoring music lovers supporting you. Don’t ignore your band mates and be Mr Stiff Roboto… move around, show your personality, interact, share the mic etc with your fellow bandmates. Trust me, if you see playback of your video and see the awko-taco-ness… it’s truly cringeworthy. It’s supposed to be fun, not an awkward high school prom photo with someone your parents set you up with. Not only will it look good, but it will make you feel good! It will help loosen you up having fun with your buddies and help floof off that anxious energy and turn it into fun! Here’s the balancing equation part though…keep that in mind, but now you need to totally not neglect your audience! Make them feel as if they’re part of your show! Incorporate them! (I will discuss stage banter in another section) lock eyes, make gestures, give them the ability to scream Encore at you! Just don’t make them feel like they’re disgusting and you don’t want to acknowledge their presence. No, just no. That being said….have fun.



Change is inevitable. And times are a-changin’. Always in the industry, new things come and go..yeah you gotta stay true to you…but learn adaptability and leniency. Stay in the know. Any musician / songwriter can relate when you come up with that perfect song….perfect melody….perfect everything…there’s not a thing you would ever wish to change…it’s your baby. But….. truth is…love is blind, sometimes. We fail to notice things that might need minor tweaking. If the singer can’t hit that note, you gotta make some minor tweaking let it be the note or the key. Maybe the chorus isn’t right, the meaning is lost in the song, etc. Be open to change and feedback. Sometimes it will even amaze you at the end and you’ll wonder why hadn’t you thought of that.. don’t be scared of change, but rather embrace it! Hell, it might even be a hit! Also, remember…a band is a mutual agreement…..everyone’s say is important.

Part two to this is stage banter and covers. I know a butt load of bands that say F*ck covers! F*ck bantering!! Umm, hey hambone, what do you suggest for transition? Once again, sometimes talking to the audience about the song can make them immersed in it. It’s ok to do. You will not be judged, and if people wanna judge….not all people are alike. You do you. Covers can be tricky, but they do have advantages. People get mad at tribute bands for hauling in crowds sometimes more than all original bands….First of all 1) Huge mainstream bands do covers…if Metallica can rock the shit outta The Misfits and make it awesome – stop worrying. 2) People like singing along or knowing  a song or two! That way if you play some that they like they will be like ‘Ooo they do that song! I love that song!’ and at the same time, you’ll also be introducing them to your originals as well. Once again, a 2-in-1 deal. Don’t fear the covers, but don’t oversaturate them. Put your ego aside, and give it a shot. If it doesn’t work, ditch ’em; you’ll never know what works for you until you try.


Time is On Your Side…..if You Will it. 

I can not stress this enough for starting bands- yes Headlining a bill is fabulous! But if you’re new or moderately new….. You won’t have a packed crowd at 1-2am…. People will have left except for your trusty entourage of supportive family and friends. If you’re Aerosmith, yes this is fine, but when you’re starting- this is not your prime time! Say for instance the show starts at 8pm… each slot is 1 hour length for each set…. there’s 4 bands…. here’s the maths again, sorry. The prime time is the first two slots…sometimes third. 8-9… everyone is trickling in  most times so it’s a hit or miss depending on the bands and rep …woot yay. 9-10… warmed up ..this is prime time spot… people are fully settled and got their drinks and are all good to go. If possible, get this spot. Third slot, 10-11….still good and safe and I would say second best after the 2nd slot…. but for the love of all that’s good and mighty..avoid headlining for a bit. Yeah sure your ego wants to fill that damn void of being the top kahuna… but , until you can sell out shows and have a good fan following….put your ego aside and take one of the other slots. This way you’re not playing to an empty crowd.


The Bow on Top- Stage Apparel/Look

I probably got a whole lot of middle digits raised when people saw this component earlier, and for that please give this a chance and see what is truly meant. By this I do not mean you have to dress in tuxedos and look like you’re going to a wedding (unless that’s the thing of your band style- go for it!) But what I mean is you can look uniformed without uniform! Look like you all actually belong together and put effort into it, instead of Gunther got hauled in outta his car to fill in. Let it be colour scheme, or the kinds of garments, etc. Just keep it together. It looks weird having one person in overalls, one in a tux, one in a jogging suit, and one in a dress. It’s just the aesthetics of stage look. Keep a theme, keep it together. You can still show your personality! That’s why  I suggest colour or basics. Like we’re gonna wear jeans, hell long board shorts can work too…just keep it in the same colour zone. You don’t need expensive stage apparel- you just need to be all on the same page.






Now after all of my rambling, I hope you all were able to take some info to help you on your road to success in the music biz! There’s a lotta simple things that people don’t say or bring up, but it’s all in the small details! From your payment, to ideal stage time, to chemistry. Learn it. Own it. Own that stage. You got this. Also, keep a press kit handy. If you’re interested into what goes into a Press Kit (Physical or Electronic) Just comment or send me a message and I’ll write a piece on that to help you step by step! Or if you got any other industry related Q’s…just message or ask me on a comment and I’ll help out!


Rock on and Cheers to success!


~ Bree




So I’ve posted about odds and ends of various subjects I like to research, but at last! Finally I will be sharing with you all some of the knowledge I have obtained throughout the years from my musical education in schooling as well as from my own research!

Being an independent artist branching out working with others and finally getting the ball rolling on a more professional level, I really wanted to get some important info to help others like me. There’s a lot more than just picking up the phone and calling a venue or even writing a song and recording it. Ever wondered about the legal side? I will be sharing some in depth information that sadly isn’t so ‘mainstream’ and can indeed help the developing musician in today’s industry. There’s so many deals, so many contracts and legal paperwork that new artists aren’t aware of , that I want to bring to the light so they don’t get duped by businesses.

If you have any certain questions or subjects you would like for me to discuss in specific, please comment on this post! I will start to get to writing the first few soon here, but I would really like to be able to cover and discuss your specific questions ! Don’t hesitate! Even if , on another note, wish to collaborate music wise- feel free to message me!

Rock on and I will be talking to you all soon!


You know that feeling of feeling fresh and like a runway model once you leave the salon that you have the insatiable urge each time to go out and show off the new ‘do after?

That feeling.

That amazing feeling of having hair that has been given the extra little TLC it deserves. I look forward to every 6-7 weeks I get mine done. That feeling of confidence knowing how amazing I feel on the outside matches the sensation radiating from the inside. What makes me glow even more now, though? Proper hair care. Taking the time to get the products for keeping the thing that gives me the most confidence.

Every day we are bombarded with people like Selena Gomez preaching about how Pantene makes her hair oh so lustrous. When I first used Pantene, my hair felt shiny too….the bad kind. You know…greasy and oily..lost every ounce of volume I had…more split ends…had to wash 24/7..even my skin was oily as well! But hey, TV has GOT to be right….right? -WRONG!!! I lost my confidence as well as some of my hair from the damage it was going through. Why…why was this going on? The ranting and raving on TV…Hell, being super immaculate when it comes to washing and products is my thing, so I thought there was no way in hell that any residue would be left on my scalp, and that it must be normal for such a product to do this to my hair….once again..WRONG.

That was until I started seeing someone who studied hair..had an immaculate education with hair and products that were legitimately good for your hair.

When I first went to a salon, I was scared…embarrassed…I thought I looked awful and that I had problems wrong with me. Once I got in, and she examined both the levels of my hair and scalp and the conditions they were in…she surprised me. There was STILL residue , a waxy substance left from that damn Pantene!! I wish I could have gotten a picture of the horrid stuff that people are unaware is nestling like a bug all snug in a rug on your scalp. It was truly freaky! She recommended different treatments for home use as well as in the salon , receiving various ones over the course of two and a half years now.

Fast forward to today. This time two years ago, I was a complete mess as mentioned up above. But now… my hair has doubled its thickness, is lustrous, volumized, down to my mid back/lower lumbar , no split ends, etc! Keep in mind, I am like a chameleon, always dying my hair! I am free of dryness and the wax that plagued me for years.

Products! The products I use are made by Redken. It’s a helluva good investment from what I’ve seen in others, as well! You pay a bit less than the brands out now claiming to be the ultimate hair redeemer- AND Redken lasts longer. You’re paying a helluva low price for what you get in the long run. Products last longer, no bad repercussions like oily hair (I’ve seen by others claiming out there it’s shine…nope , gross!) ,etc. My stylist said the best way to describe these products- they are prescribed. Not over the counter. Not something you can sell like a Zydrate dealer (Hands up, Repo! fans!) . These products are recommended through people educated within the industry that tailor the products to fit you.

Some products I have used as well as others around me have used for restoring your beautiful locks (and I recommend from personal experience) are as follows:

Redken CAT Treatment: My very first treatment from two years ago!! And guess what….I STILL GOT PRODUCT LEFT. HA! How about THAT for long lasting product?! Oh, did I mention it’s less expensive but also better quality than the other stuff going around? If you love investing in good product that won’t leave your wallets crying and that trip to Italy in forever waiting, get on this gravy train! Wanna know the perks of this another must have? Check this out! Straight from Redken –

This strengthening hair treatment spray boosts hair’s shine and softness. It brings protein to hair’s core, restoring internal strength and shine.

  • Reconstructs, reconditions and adds immediate strength without added weight
  • Helps prep hair before chemical services to prevent future damage
  • Helps prevent breakage and split ends

And boy, can I testify to this! When first using, your professional stylist will tell you how much to incorporate in your washing routine at first. For me it was three times the first week. Now I’m down to once or twice a month now my hair is back in black!…erm, purple! This helps restore the protein within your hair..if you’re willing to ingest your protein, give a little love to your locks!


Redken Diamond Oil: For me, I used the product out of the Diamond Oil collection called, “Glow Dry”. Used for when you’re blow drying your hair and styling it for the lustrous diamond appearance as well as protection from the heat damage that normally occurs when applying heat to your hair. Also available in this line are shampoos and two other levels of oil you can purchase, as well. Highly recommended to consult one of the lovely professionals in the salon first before purchasing. Each one is tailored to different hair levels. You don’t want a super level if your hair does not require a mega load. Consult your hair doctor!


OLAPLEX Treatment: Not Redken, and is a sister to that of the CAT treatment. Olaplex is one of the top dogs besides CAT that saved my hair. Also, It’s a treatment I get at the salon that keeps me safe and sound when colouring. Here’s a little ditty on this angel- You bleach your hair, cross process your hair a lot….you dye it like there’s no tomorrow like me? Olaplex restores your hair and doesn’t get it all brittle and downright hay-like. Your hair is lustrous and volumized. Olaplex helps bond your hair , that being done makes sure you don’t get dry dead ends, and flyaways. It helps reconnect the broken disulphide sulphur bonds in the hair that limits the damage and saves it when you’re colouring your locks.

Redkin Cerafill: There are two kinds- Retaliate and Defy. My love has been using Defy in the past 5 months, and HOLY DIFFERENCE! Even after the first initial use when our stylist introduced him to the product and used it on his hair…all I can say is, from the first step you could see the difference. Now his hair has thickened, developed more, puts mine at severe competition for silkiness and strength …great now I have the urge to touch it.

What is Cerafill? Here’s a little description taken from the authentic Redken page for it’s product, Defy, itself: “Defy flat, thin-looking hair with NEW Cerafill Defy. Powerful formulas with zinc PCA, a known DHT inhibitor, ceramide and SP-94 strengthen hair, nourish the scalp, and improve the appearance of thin hair. Hair looks and feels fuller with healthy shine.”

I can personally testify its justifications. It works the most quickest I’ve seen in the hair care market, blowing away the competition!


Redken One United: Might as well call it the one stop shop that is essential when washing those locks! It has 25 benefits that I take full advantage of each wash. Just a little spirt, and voila! Wanna know the benefits, even though you may be an outsider to the Redken hair proection for sexy smart beasts club? Come take my hand, you can come in with me to my meeting so you too can hear the benefits/ Can I get an Amen?!


    1. Conditions
    2. Nourishes
    3. Improves manageability
    4. Helps even out porous hair
    5. Reduces dryness
    6. Detangles
    7. Instant results
    8. Ideal cutting lotion       


    1. Primes hair for styling
    2. Helps prevent breakage from brushing
    3. Safe for color-treated hair
    4. Safe for ombre hair
    5. Helps prevent heat damage
    6. Helps prevent split ends
    7. Helps seal in hair cuticle
    8. Helps shield against external aggressors


    1. Gives a silky touch
    2. Adds smoothness
    3. Adds shine
    4. Helps control frizz
    5. Anti-static
    6. Controls fly-aways
    7. Makes blow-dry easier
    8. Style refresher
    9. Lightweight results

Still got other thoughts after all those benefits provided to you by Redken? How about having your hair s-s-s-SAVED?! (More Repo! references..sorry). It’s quick…it’s clean…and you’ll be feeling like  a pure goddess with this little step to your routine!



That being said, I hope everyone got some cool little facts on products that I have used as well as those near and dear to me, that are proven results. Always seek a professional when it comes to products concerning your health. 1) Would you rely on google for all your medical needs? Would you ask a butcher to do your surgery? (Although that’d be interesting to see, it’s not good when it comes to various surgeries.) 2) Would you spend 20$ on a tattoo from an unreliable source just because hurtygurdy said to? Trust the professionals! You get the bang for your buck and beyond when consulting a professional.

Many thanks to Bonnie from The Head Shoppe for the education, time, and love when it comes to my hair!

Peace and love yourself!


Even math says ‘x=y’ …like WHY the hell is that damn EX keep coming up into situations?!

They are not part of the formulae to your present day. Nope.

So here lies the question… WHY do they keep showing up? They’re like when you’re got an event the next day, you got your nails done, got your clothes all fresh, but when you wake up the next morning… BAM! A big nasty zit is like, ‘HOLA! I CAME TO CRASH YOUR PARTY!’. And that my friends, is what having your ex involved still in your life is like. To that I say: Here lies the past…Rest in peace. *Throw salt* I BANISH THEE, DEMONIC PRESENCE!

Luckily, My past isn’t involved anymore in my present going-on’s. We ended on mutual terms for them both and they respect the idea of moving on with respect. To them: Thank you. Not saying that I hate them at all, no, we have respect. But…we just don’t go about intruding and getting all friendly-friendly in the other person’s lives.

That being said, I don’t get why exes are all up in some people’s lives still with the hugs and cute pet names FULLY KNOWING that it would make themselves uncomfortable if they were put in that same situation. The person no longer is with you. Just give it the fuck up. Got a cute name for the person you were with , but you fucked it up and they are now happy with a way better person? PUT THAT SHIT TO REST. You look pathetic. Clearly, they are not interested in you because you blew the chances being an assclown, so just move on and find a new soul to torment.

Sorry. I got a bit nuts there with the ranting. I just really despise exes trying to get all cutesy and manipulative while their previous partner is happy in a new relationship. The universe attracts what you put out…and honey, you’re putting your energy to waste.

Common topic with this subject…did you notice how it’s mostly the male partner’s exes that are the shit disturbers? I mean, being a female, I don’t actually have ANY run-ins with mine. If crazy shit aligns and we see each other, we will be like ‘hi, bye, kiss my ass, etc.’ then leave. Whereas if an ex female from your male companion comes up to him it’s all like, ‘HUGS! *INSERT PARTNER’S NAME HERE IN ALL CAPS SIGNIFYING THEIR PATHETIC SCREECHING* , OMG! My snookie-wookums! How are you? OMGGGGG remember wheeeeeennnnn _____?! *Eyelash flutters* xoxoxo ‘.

Cut that shit. Ew. Just ew.

To me, that’s totally disrespectful as hell to still be like that. Just be normal. Say hi. Stop with the eye sex and cutesie shit reserved for that person’s partner. How would you like it if someone did that to your guy? Make you shudder and get pissed? Good. That’s how you’re making that poor dame feel. Get some respect for you and others. Just move on. Keep swimming…..into the mouth of a kraken.

I understand though that sometimes male exes can be like that when I was talking to others. Happens a lot less, but still crazy not cool to do. Just don’t do it, anyone.

That being said here is my list of 10 kinda guidelines & summing up in regards to this issue:

  1. You can still be friends. Just realize you don’t have the same title and got to respect the new person. If you can be respectful to them, they will respect you in return. You’ll get so much respect for doing that and you won’t look trashy.
  2. Move on. You’ll only make yourself upset if all you focus on is trying to manipulate your way to try to get them back. Chances are if they are super happy, they won’t even give you the time of a wet dream. That being said, don’t waste your energy putting that into the universe and instead find your sexy stud muffin or sexy kitten and you’ll feel soooo much better.
  3. Stop. Screeching. The. Person’s. Name. This ties in with #1. You look pathetic and you do not have that ‘role’ anymore. Also, respect.
  4. Messaging. With Facebook and cellular phones being at our call all the time, yes that brings the temptation to drunk or sober message your ex-sweetheart. DON’T DO IT. No, they do not want to see a pic of you being cute or sending a cute message. Nor does their partner. You know that “R” word mentioned sooo much here? Respect? Yeah. Get some.
  5. Gestures. Body talk is the second half of the talky-talk. The eye sex, boob squash, bite lip, hair flip bullshit….STOP IT, HO. Giggle…..
  6. How your family ties in (if you’re the ex causing the BS). Just like with yourself, have your family also respect your ex-hunny and his new hunny. Stop trying to get them to hornswaggle him/her back and bring up those memories that makes the new lover feel like they’re going to cry from the breaking of their heart.
  7. Leave the past in the past. It’s got no spot for the future. No one wants that heavy baggage full of trash that is preventing them from becoming a hollywood star. Let it go and shine. Yes, even you EX. Shine like a diamond and attract someone who is meant to be your second half because CLEARLY..the past didn’t work out. Learn. Live and learn from that.
  8. A shade of bitch looks awful on anyone. Resting bitch face, being a bitch…those were just fads. Not something to be proud of. Be the better person and rise above. Being able to let shit go and make a good path for yourself is a look of pure, utter brilliance on everyone!
  9. Don’t be a bitter bitch (continued). Your soul mate is wandering somewhere while you’re trying to change what isn’t meant. This is the universe telling you your soulmate is out there and NOT the past person.
  10. Last but not least, let me re-iterate this most important point : RESPECT!!!! Have respect all around and things will work out fine and dandy in the end. Without respect, how the hell do you ever think someone will respect you? We all deserve respect. But as in anything, it must be earned and not just handed to your ass on a golden platter. Earn it. When you earn that respect, it feels like you’ve won the lottery of life.


All things considered, this is a really touchy topic that we all have gone through in our lives let it be with our partner’s exes, our own…or maybe you’re one of these evil nasty exes? In the comments below, please do not hesitate to tell me your thoughts on this subject, your stories and comments are always appreciated!


Rock on and don’t be an ass xx

After recently coming out of the broom closet myself after 5 years, I had to come across quite the challenge of the reactions of those around me.

Sometimes you will come across others in your life who will openly accept you for you when you come out as Wiccan, then there will also be the ones who are ignorant towards the matter. 

Luckily, My family I live with accepted me right away. My boyfriend accepted me. My best friends accepted me. Everyone pretty much did except for the die-hard bible pushers around me and two in the family.

Did it hurt to have someone in your family look at you as if you were less than them and their religious beliefs and think it was ‘just a phase’ and ‘oh, you’re not one of them are you?’ Yep it did. Quite a lot, actually. And you know what, too? Yes. Yes I am one of them. I am a natural ‘witch’ who uses my gifts and knowledge in natural healing to help those around me. I’m a good person. I respect others who are different than me and still love them unconditionally. Their belief doesn’t make them any more or any less of a person.

I was also told by said family member that my grandmother who passed away (Blessed be your soul Nanny E, I miss you with all my heart xx ) would not approve of me because apparently she contacted my other grandmother and said so. NO. My Nan loved me for me. She supported me and was there for me when no one else would. She never judged me when I came to her and told her what I saw. From the start she could see that I did have gifts of the sixth sense but still loved me and never judged me. Yes, she was Catholic, but she had respect for me when I was first into Wicca. She helped me and got me different books. She loved me for me. I can sense her energy and I even have consulted other mediums if she is proud of who I’ve become and they all say that she is and that I’m forming fine. THAT is what matters to me. 

Instead of yelling and lowering my maturity level down to bashing her religion, I instead gave some links of information to my family member and calmly explained what Wicca is. I know in my heart I am not evil. Sadly, some of the things  I see her church people do completely appall me. How can you go into a place and wear fake smiles with fake attitudes towards your fellow ‘friends’ then go back home with your little ‘clique’ and then talk smack about them? THAT is NOT family.  Respect and love each other. 

For those of you who have came out of the broom closet or are about to, here are some helpful links I found that I like to use to give to people who aren’t too nice or judgemental towards you.

Blessed be and don’t let them put out your shine. Glow, baby, glow.


Helpful Links:


Before I let you all into the dark mind that I have, I just want to say that if you’re under 18, to kinda scoot your butt in the other direction. Yeah, I know that most people under age are having sex under that age even, but just so I don’t get in trouble here I’m posting the 18+ warning.

All good? Let’s go into the dark.

But hey, if you like to get in the mood during the light of day, feel free to leave your lights on. Different strokes for different folks.

Most people are used to – almost like a routine, it seems like- go to bed..take off clothes..get into missionary position..release..sleep.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Heyyyyyy now. Sex is supposed to be an intimate thing; not a chore. So let’s get to the root of the problem.

Most times people skip the main thing. It starts with the letter ‘F’. No, not that word. The other one: Foreplay. Foreplay is vital to not only warm up your partner so it’s not going in dry and making your partner scream- not in the good way.

First begin by setting the mood. Is there a song that makes you feel pure ecstasy and in the mood? Something that makes your partner feel sexy? Either put on a playlist or your favourite album. Light some candles! When you and your partner are just relaxing it will play with the senses and give off a romantic aura.

This part is entirely optional for foreplay since there are different kinds of couples. But maybe you two like to get ideas or try new things. In stores you can get plenty of fun foreplay items that can also be used during sex. Here’s some cool ideas:

Roleplay: Sometimes acting out different scenarios can unleash that part of you that you are afraid of showing. It lets you sometimes let out your inner alter ego that we all secretly wanna portray. You also have your main ones you can find like housemaid, kidnapping,etc. Outfits also tie into this. Check out your local store to find cute items!

Toys, Toys, Toys & Keeping it Clean: These are fantastic to use during foreplay as well as they can be carried on during sex. I highly recommend, toy-wise, for those who are looking for something to please both partners, is the penis vibrating ring. Not only does it give him a great sensation, but it also gives you a great feeling too because it stimulates you as well. Now if you’re looking for another fun for two item , try the bullet vibrator. It comes with a remote control and gives your partner complete control of the intensity- which is the most intense feeling when you don’t know what’s going to happen next. Some of the toys I have myself include a bullet, torpedo vibrator, a vibrator, etc. Main thing I can advise for you all to get – toy or no toy- is sanitary cleaner by Swiss Navy. The Swiss Navy sanitary cleaner can be used to clean both toys after use (never use soap and water! This can give you infections in your vagina) and you can use it as kinda like a spray wash in your nether regions to keep it clean down there since most soaps throw off your PH balance causing gross smell and taste.

Watch an Adult Film Together: I’m going to be completely honest and say that beforehand I would never,ever, ever watch an adult film for I found it crazy uncomfortable watching other people have sex. I think that’s a good thing, aha. But then I thought about it for a moment while having a glimpse while one of my friends were watching it and I looked at it in a different light that benefited me: it gave me ideas to try myself. I won’t lie, I do have my own collection of toys, but honestly, most of the time we just know the basics of using them. After checking out a scene and seeing how they used them, totally gave me ideas on how to use them in cool ways- with or without a partner. Even when not using toys it gave me new ideas on what moves to try. So you don’t really need to watch them to get your jollies, you can also use them to learn, which is healthy.

To end off the topic of the beautiful, passionate world of lovemaking ideas, let me add my list of 10 songs to get ya in the mood for you feisty love machines….well, I find it works for me.

  1. Adrenalize- In The Moment
  2. World On Fire- Slash & Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators
  3. Painkiller- Three Days Grace
  4. Closer- Nine Inch Nails
  5. Sex Type Thing- Stone Temple Pilots
  6. Check My Brain- Alice In Chains
  7. Angel Eyes- New Years Day
  8. 1 AM- Beautiful Creatures
  9. Two Weeks- All That Remains

10. Bleeding Me- Metallica


What is this? Two posts in one day? Hell yeah! Found a lot of things that inspire me and this is one of my top ones besides music: Tattoos.

I’ve always been into designing tattoos for others and my own little doodles in my sketchbook until finally after what’s seemed like forever I got my first one as a gift to myself for my 21st birthday.

My first tattoo is on my forearm and it is an excerpt from the song “Devil in the Mirror” by Black Veil Brides. It reads, “My voice is a weapon, my fear is a lie.”


The meaning for me is really special. It’s almost like a reminder for me to never be afraid to standup for what you believe in and never be intimidated or fear the consequence. I used to be very shy and let people walk over me and this spoke to be in many levels. It also stands for my not let anyone dim out your shining light and keep it glowing bright. The placement is also on my writing arm so when I am putting the pen to paper or have the microphone in my hand, I’m not holding back.

Fast forward to just almost two months later, what do I do? That’s right- book another appointment to get tattoo #2!

A lot of people questioned me, “Why so soon?” Well, my guitar tattoo was originally going to be my first tattoo, but since I hadn’t had one before I wanted to kind of test the waters too for the first one. My first tattoo took only 1.5 hours, whereas my second one about 4 hours.

I completely adore my guitar tattoo and this one as well has a crazy deep meaning.


I have been playing guitar for 9 years now and thought it was time to make an ode to it for not only is it something I want to do for the rest of my future, but it’s also been my therapist numerous times.

The placement of the guitar tattoo symbolizes that it’s been my backbone as well as my good conscience that always has my back, despite crazy situations. Whether it be heartbreak, happiness, or whatever, my guitar has always been the number one thing I ran to- even before humans.

I absolutely adore my ink and am grateful to be going to such an amazing tattoo shop as well. If you are in the HRM and want some killer ink, I strongly suggest you check out Exotic Inks for your next ink!

Tattooing is an amazing art that I hope to be able to take apprenticeship in someday, but for now here’s some little facts about it for those who are new to the art.

1) Aftercare : After removing the bandage your artist has wrapped you up in (approx after 4-6 hours) gently rinse with cold water and non-scented antibacterial soap, using your hand. You then ever so gently pat it dry with a clean towel. For the first bit of aftercare lotion, highly recommend Eucerin Aquaphor . Use a teeny, pea-size bit of it and rub it in fully into your tattoo. Do this approx 2-3 times a day (or whenever it feels dry) and use it for 2 days. Once those few days are up, you then are going to switch over to an unscented lotion. I use Aveeno unscented moisturizer. Even after the tattoo is done healing, feel free to still use the lotion to keep it looking fresh.

***Also, depending on the bandage your artist uses, be very careful when removing the bandage. If it’s cotton (Trust me, I saw another place use cotton and DUCT TAPE as a bandage..appalled me…once again, VERY thankful for the location I go to actually taking good sanitary care and overall awesome care of their clients. If you happen to run into a cotton user, chances are your tattoo will stick to the cotton when you go to remove the bandage due to the plasma, blood etc. your skin expels. To help eliminate damage to your new ink, gently let cold water cascade over the bandage to help remove it. Same goes if you get stuck to your bed clothes – hence why you should avoid sleeping on your tattoo***

2) For God’s sake, Don’t pick the damn thing! Even though it will get itchy and feel tight during the healing stage, do not pick it! I found using the Aveeno brand it relieved the itchiness (thank God!). Sometimes cold water can help relieve it. Whatever you do, do not pick the scabs! They don’t look like gross bloody scabs, they look like pieces of skin after you have been sunburned. Just let it naturally come off on it’s own when you wash and lotion up.

3) Summer Time? I highly recommend covering yourself up until being healed. You do not want to expose your tattoo to sunlight freshly after getting it done! Use a minimum of SPF 30 (I use 45 for mine) to eliminate the risk of your tattoo fading or you feeling like a vampire in the movies.

4) Don’t psyche yourself out and remember to breathe! I expected copious amounts of pain before getting my first tattoo done- not gonna lie. But I was truly amazed at how calming it is! No it’s not brutal like a knife dragging through you (well, ribs and underarms do hurt). Papercuts actually hurt more. Also, if you want it bad enough, knowing that the end result will be all worth it will help you get through. EAT BEFORE GOING! I highly recommend drinking a good big glass of orange juice too with your meal so your blood sugar levels are good. Normally when you get a tattoo, your body reacts to the sensation and sometimes your blood sugar levels will drop. DO NOT DRINK! Alcohol will result to passing out, getting sick, and unnecessary trips to the bathroom that will rack up the time spent on the tattoo. Also, alcohol thins out your blood, so you should avoid this before getting a tattoo. BREATHE!! If you hold your breath, you will pass out.

and lastly….

5) The cost of beauty. For the first time getting a tattoo, you might be a bit shocked by the prices. Good tattoos aren’t cheap. You’re paying for the best service, equipment, and sanitation. You’re going to have it forever on your body- put good investment into it! Tipping is also a very good way to tell your artist that you genuinely appreciated their time and dedication into a piece that will remain on you til the grave. So, that’s always a good thing to keep in mind.

Hope this gave some cool insight into something I found cool and wanted to share with you all.

Rock on!


As I chill on the swing in my Boba Fett blanket with my laptop, I kinda got inspired to write a little diddy on what exactly is love and the do’s and don’ts of it all.

Love is a feeling unlike any other. You may feel as if you have found the true match when in reality – and to your dismay- it is nothing but a false flame. But what about when you get that feeling unlike any other? What do you do? I know for me I didn’t want to mess anything up.

DO communicate!!! Communication is key for trust to happen! Feel a bit uncomfy or unsure about something? Don’t keep it in and hide it from your partner! That will just make an awkward air around you both and can cause trouble in the long run. If it is love and trust, you both will be able to talk about it and come to a conclusion.

DON’T give up on your loved one just because you have a mild altercation or a mistake happens! The couple that fights through the rough times and comes out still strong will last. Just don’t give up. Here I’m going to refer back to the ‘Do’ just above….communicate and talk about it!

DO take interest in what he/she does! Yeah sure you may not be too fond of it yourself, but that doesn’t mean you should down them! Always support. You are their other half and the person they love and want to make proud most times.

DON’T overcrowd or discourage!! Yes, it’s ok to be worried if they don’t respond after a certain amount of time, but you do not have to be every second of every day asking where their exact location is! Have some trust!!! Even at parties, don’t be afraid to go and talk to your friends and let them talk to theirs- relationships must be able to breathe! It’s ok and normal to step in if things get rough and someone tries to start drama, so it’s all good to kinda step in when that happens.

DO respect each other. Do not poke and prod when they are agitated. Give them some time to calm down. Also respect the fact they are letting their walls down and letting you into their hurt. Don’t cheat and hurt them.

DON’T dwell on the past. Exes are exes for a reason. If you’re constantly comparing – FYI NEVERRRRR compare your current loved one to anyone ever in a negative away – them to your past love interest, they may feel as if you still want them and feel as if they are a second option. Don’t let the awful past get in the way of a bright and beautiful future.

That being said, go on and love! Love is one of the greatest feelings to have and it comes in many forms – not always having to be in a spouse.

If you have any relationship questions, feel free to ask and I will answer.