You know that feeling of feeling fresh and like a runway model once you leave the salon that you have the insatiable urge each time to go out and show off the new ‘do after?

That feeling.

That amazing feeling of having hair that has been given the extra little TLC it deserves. I look forward to every 6-7 weeks I get mine done. That feeling of confidence knowing how amazing I feel on the outside matches the sensation radiating from the inside. What makes me glow even more now, though? Proper hair care. Taking the time to get the products for keeping the thing that gives me the most confidence.

Every day we are bombarded with people like Selena Gomez preaching about how Pantene makes her hair oh so lustrous. When I first used Pantene, my hair felt shiny too….the bad kind. You know…greasy and oily..lost every ounce of volume I had…more split ends…had to wash 24/7..even my skin was oily as well! But hey, TV has GOT to be right….right? -WRONG!!! I lost my confidence as well as some of my hair from the damage it was going through. Why…why was this going on? The ranting and raving on TV…Hell, being super immaculate when it comes to washing and products is my thing, so I thought there was no way in hell that any residue would be left on my scalp, and that it must be normal for such a product to do this to my hair….once again..WRONG.

That was until I started seeing someone who studied hair..had an immaculate education with hair and products that were legitimately good for your hair.

When I first went to a salon, I was scared…embarrassed…I thought I looked awful and that I had problems wrong with me. Once I got in, and she examined both the levels of my hair and scalp and the conditions they were in…she surprised me. There was STILL residue , a waxy substance left from that damn Pantene!! I wish I could have gotten a picture of the horrid stuff that people are unaware is nestling like a bug all snug in a rug on your scalp. It was truly freaky! She recommended different treatments for home use as well as in the salon , receiving various ones over the course of two and a half years now.

Fast forward to today. This time two years ago, I was a complete mess as mentioned up above. But now… my hair has doubled its thickness, is lustrous, volumized, down to my mid back/lower lumbar , no split ends, etc! Keep in mind, I am like a chameleon, always dying my hair! I am free of dryness and the wax that plagued me for years.

Products! The products I use are made by Redken. It’s a helluva good investment from what I’ve seen in others, as well! You pay a bit less than the brands out now claiming to be the ultimate hair redeemer- AND Redken lasts longer. You’re paying a helluva low price for what you get in the long run. Products last longer, no bad repercussions like oily hair (I’ve seen by others claiming out there it’s shine…nope , gross!) ,etc. My stylist said the best way to describe these products- they are prescribed. Not over the counter. Not something you can sell like a Zydrate dealer (Hands up, Repo! fans!) . These products are recommended through people educated within the industry that tailor the products to fit you.

Some products I have used as well as others around me have used for restoring your beautiful locks (and I recommend from personal experience) are as follows:

Redken CAT Treatment: My very first treatment from two years ago!! And guess what….I STILL GOT PRODUCT LEFT. HA! How about THAT for long lasting product?! Oh, did I mention it’s less expensive but also better quality than the other stuff going around? If you love investing in good product that won’t leave your wallets crying and that trip to Italy in forever waiting, get on this gravy train! Wanna know the perks of this another must have? Check this out! Straight from Redken –

This strengthening hair treatment spray boosts hair’s shine and softness. It brings protein to hair’s core, restoring internal strength and shine.

  • Reconstructs, reconditions and adds immediate strength without added weight
  • Helps prep hair before chemical services to prevent future damage
  • Helps prevent breakage and split ends

And boy, can I testify to this! When first using, your professional stylist will tell you how much to incorporate in your washing routine at first. For me it was three times the first week. Now I’m down to once or twice a month now my hair is back in black!…erm, purple! This helps restore the protein within your hair..if you’re willing to ingest your protein, give a little love to your locks!


Redken Diamond Oil: For me, I used the product out of the Diamond Oil collection called, “Glow Dry”. Used for when you’re blow drying your hair and styling it for the lustrous diamond appearance as well as protection from the heat damage that normally occurs when applying heat to your hair. Also available in this line are shampoos and two other levels of oil you can purchase, as well. Highly recommended to consult one of the lovely professionals in the salon first before purchasing. Each one is tailored to different hair levels. You don’t want a super level if your hair does not require a mega load. Consult your hair doctor!


OLAPLEX Treatment: Not Redken, and is a sister to that of the CAT treatment. Olaplex is one of the top dogs besides CAT that saved my hair. Also, It’s a treatment I get at the salon that keeps me safe and sound when colouring. Here’s a little ditty on this angel- You bleach your hair, cross process your hair a lot….you dye it like there’s no tomorrow like me? Olaplex restores your hair and doesn’t get it all brittle and downright hay-like. Your hair is lustrous and volumized. Olaplex helps bond your hair , that being done makes sure you don’t get dry dead ends, and flyaways. It helps reconnect the broken disulphide sulphur bonds in the hair that limits the damage and saves it when you’re colouring your locks.

Redkin Cerafill: There are two kinds- Retaliate and Defy. My love has been using Defy in the past 5 months, and HOLY DIFFERENCE! Even after the first initial use when our stylist introduced him to the product and used it on his hair…all I can say is, from the first step you could see the difference. Now his hair has thickened, developed more, puts mine at severe competition for silkiness and strength …great now I have the urge to touch it.

What is Cerafill? Here’s a little description taken from the authentic Redken page for it’s product, Defy, itself: “Defy flat, thin-looking hair with NEW Cerafill Defy. Powerful formulas with zinc PCA, a known DHT inhibitor, ceramide and SP-94 strengthen hair, nourish the scalp, and improve the appearance of thin hair. Hair looks and feels fuller with healthy shine.”

I can personally testify its justifications. It works the most quickest I’ve seen in the hair care market, blowing away the competition!


Redken One United: Might as well call it the one stop shop that is essential when washing those locks! It has 25 benefits that I take full advantage of each wash. Just a little spirt, and voila! Wanna know the benefits, even though you may be an outsider to the Redken hair proection for sexy smart beasts club? Come take my hand, you can come in with me to my meeting so you too can hear the benefits/ Can I get an Amen?!


    1. Conditions
    2. Nourishes
    3. Improves manageability
    4. Helps even out porous hair
    5. Reduces dryness
    6. Detangles
    7. Instant results
    8. Ideal cutting lotion       


    1. Primes hair for styling
    2. Helps prevent breakage from brushing
    3. Safe for color-treated hair
    4. Safe for ombre hair
    5. Helps prevent heat damage
    6. Helps prevent split ends
    7. Helps seal in hair cuticle
    8. Helps shield against external aggressors


    1. Gives a silky touch
    2. Adds smoothness
    3. Adds shine
    4. Helps control frizz
    5. Anti-static
    6. Controls fly-aways
    7. Makes blow-dry easier
    8. Style refresher
    9. Lightweight results

Still got other thoughts after all those benefits provided to you by Redken? How about having your hair s-s-s-SAVED?! (More Repo! references..sorry). It’s quick…it’s clean…and you’ll be feeling like  a pure goddess with this little step to your routine!



That being said, I hope everyone got some cool little facts on products that I have used as well as those near and dear to me, that are proven results. Always seek a professional when it comes to products concerning your health. 1) Would you rely on google for all your medical needs? Would you ask a butcher to do your surgery? (Although that’d be interesting to see, it’s not good when it comes to various surgeries.) 2) Would you spend 20$ on a tattoo from an unreliable source just because hurtygurdy said to? Trust the professionals! You get the bang for your buck and beyond when consulting a professional.

Many thanks to Bonnie from The Head Shoppe for the education, time, and love when it comes to my hair!

Peace and love yourself!



Even math says ‘x=y’ …like WHY the hell is that damn EX keep coming up into situations?!

They are not part of the formulae to your present day. Nope.

So here lies the question… WHY do they keep showing up? They’re like when you’re got an event the next day, you got your nails done, got your clothes all fresh, but when you wake up the next morning… BAM! A big nasty zit is like, ‘HOLA! I CAME TO CRASH YOUR PARTY!’. And that my friends, is what having your ex involved still in your life is like. To that I say: Here lies the past…Rest in peace. *Throw salt* I BANISH THEE, DEMONIC PRESENCE!

Luckily, My past isn’t involved anymore in my present going-on’s. We ended on mutual terms for them both and they respect the idea of moving on with respect. To them: Thank you. Not saying that I hate them at all, no, we have respect. But…we just don’t go about intruding and getting all friendly-friendly in the other person’s lives.

That being said, I don’t get why exes are all up in some people’s lives still with the hugs and cute pet names FULLY KNOWING that it would make themselves uncomfortable if they were put in that same situation. The person no longer is with you. Just give it the fuck up. Got a cute name for the person you were with , but you fucked it up and they are now happy with a way better person? PUT THAT SHIT TO REST. You look pathetic. Clearly, they are not interested in you because you blew the chances being an assclown, so just move on and find a new soul to torment.

Sorry. I got a bit nuts there with the ranting. I just really despise exes trying to get all cutesy and manipulative while their previous partner is happy in a new relationship. The universe attracts what you put out…and honey, you’re putting your energy to waste.

Common topic with this subject…did you notice how it’s mostly the male partner’s exes that are the shit disturbers? I mean, being a female, I don’t actually have ANY run-ins with mine. If crazy shit aligns and we see each other, we will be like ‘hi, bye, kiss my ass, etc.’ then leave. Whereas if an ex female from your male companion comes up to him it’s all like, ‘HUGS! *INSERT PARTNER’S NAME HERE IN ALL CAPS SIGNIFYING THEIR PATHETIC SCREECHING* , OMG! My snookie-wookums! How are you? OMGGGGG remember wheeeeeennnnn _____?! *Eyelash flutters* xoxoxo ‘.

Cut that shit. Ew. Just ew.

To me, that’s totally disrespectful as hell to still be like that. Just be normal. Say hi. Stop with the eye sex and cutesie shit reserved for that person’s partner. How would you like it if someone did that to your guy? Make you shudder and get pissed? Good. That’s how you’re making that poor dame feel. Get some respect for you and others. Just move on. Keep swimming…..into the mouth of a kraken.

I understand though that sometimes male exes can be like that when I was talking to others. Happens a lot less, but still crazy not cool to do. Just don’t do it, anyone.

That being said here is my list of 10 kinda guidelines & summing up in regards to this issue:

  1. You can still be friends. Just realize you don’t have the same title and got to respect the new person. If you can be respectful to them, they will respect you in return. You’ll get so much respect for doing that and you won’t look trashy.
  2. Move on. You’ll only make yourself upset if all you focus on is trying to manipulate your way to try to get them back. Chances are if they are super happy, they won’t even give you the time of a wet dream. That being said, don’t waste your energy putting that into the universe and instead find your sexy stud muffin or sexy kitten and you’ll feel soooo much better.
  3. Stop. Screeching. The. Person’s. Name. This ties in with #1. You look pathetic and you do not have that ‘role’ anymore. Also, respect.
  4. Messaging. With Facebook and cellular phones being at our call all the time, yes that brings the temptation to drunk or sober message your ex-sweetheart. DON’T DO IT. No, they do not want to see a pic of you being cute or sending a cute message. Nor does their partner. You know that “R” word mentioned sooo much here? Respect? Yeah. Get some.
  5. Gestures. Body talk is the second half of the talky-talk. The eye sex, boob squash, bite lip, hair flip bullshit….STOP IT, HO. Giggle…..
  6. How your family ties in (if you’re the ex causing the BS). Just like with yourself, have your family also respect your ex-hunny and his new hunny. Stop trying to get them to hornswaggle him/her back and bring up those memories that makes the new lover feel like they’re going to cry from the breaking of their heart.
  7. Leave the past in the past. It’s got no spot for the future. No one wants that heavy baggage full of trash that is preventing them from becoming a hollywood star. Let it go and shine. Yes, even you EX. Shine like a diamond and attract someone who is meant to be your second half because CLEARLY..the past didn’t work out. Learn. Live and learn from that.
  8. A shade of bitch looks awful on anyone. Resting bitch face, being a bitch…those were just fads. Not something to be proud of. Be the better person and rise above. Being able to let shit go and make a good path for yourself is a look of pure, utter brilliance on everyone!
  9. Don’t be a bitter bitch (continued). Your soul mate is wandering somewhere while you’re trying to change what isn’t meant. This is the universe telling you your soulmate is out there and NOT the past person.
  10. Last but not least, let me re-iterate this most important point : RESPECT!!!! Have respect all around and things will work out fine and dandy in the end. Without respect, how the hell do you ever think someone will respect you? We all deserve respect. But as in anything, it must be earned and not just handed to your ass on a golden platter. Earn it. When you earn that respect, it feels like you’ve won the lottery of life.


All things considered, this is a really touchy topic that we all have gone through in our lives let it be with our partner’s exes, our own…or maybe you’re one of these evil nasty exes? In the comments below, please do not hesitate to tell me your thoughts on this subject, your stories and comments are always appreciated!


Rock on and don’t be an ass xx

Hello all!

I have been recently working on adding new herbal remedies and ailments for different problems when I came across this one. 

Urinary Tract Infection.

For those who have had it, including myself, just the name makes you flinch and want to scream Bloody Murder. It is one of the most common infections a female can get, more so then men, due to plenty of reasons- including your functions being so close together in one spot. Different things can easily make you contract this infection: too much sex (FUCKING BUMMER. So easy on diddling the skittle, ladies.) , holding your pee/not peeing after sex (This is to get rid of any bacteria that might have been jammed into crevices while after having sex or playing with toys- also highly recommend Toy and Body cleaner to use as well to help keep sanitary), or even improper cleaning of the nether regions (FRONT TO BACK, just remember …Front to back…)

Whatever the reason, it is nothing to be ashamed of- it happens to a lot. Symptoms can kinda be creepy or painful. Also if you look up your symptoms you will realize where it’s specifically targeting- such as the bladder, urethra, kidneys,etc.

For me, I instantly panicked. I really hate going in to walk in clinics, and being the ‘ooo let’s try to heal this magically and naturally!’ I wanted to see if I could kick this shit to the curb… And I succeeded which made me happy!

Yes, not using an antibiotic prescribed from the doctor might take a day or two longer, solely because you’re not using chemicals to be used as an antibiotic. The kicker for using the stuff prescribed? Most times Yeast Infections follow. To me, I was already to go to the walk in but after reading that I decided to try my own way first (I gauged this off of the symptoms – mine was not in my kidneys, luckily. If yours IS in the kidneys or you’re experiencing extreme pain, maybe the doctor’s is the best bet. Mine was not painful or anything bad, so hence my decision. In the end this is all up to you).

Here’s my secret ingredients and I will explain after listing them how they all linked–



•Tea Tree Oil

•Raw Cranberry

•Hot water and fresh squeezed lemon


Water. Kind of a no brainer. I mean, let’s think about this…You’re having a bacteria that is attacking your bladder/urinary area…When you drink water and are peeing (even though yes it can hurt when having a UTI) but this will help flush and move it out of your system. Also the amounts of water will help dilute the acidic concentration in your pee, making it less painful. Hot water and lemon is good for easing any pain as well as detoxifying your body (also a bonus- it helps your skin). I would drink 5 tumbler- full glasses of water daily).On another kinda side note with water too, is that yes it does aid in weight loss! Replacing sugary drinks with water will help you lose weight and boost your energy. Also a lot of the time when we go to shove junk food for snacks in our faces or have  the ‘I’m hungry again?” moments is because we are actually dehydrated. So drinking water helps get rid of over-consumption. 

On a note of sugar….Cranberry Juice. Drink 1 -3 glasses of NO SUGAR ADDED natural cranberry juice! The sugary kind can lead to problems and is not affective. If you want a natural herbal supplement to take to rid of UTI”s too, D-Mannose pills will help you fight off UTI’s. You can find this in natural health stores or sections in stores.

Oranges. This is kinda an on the fence one. If you are not drinking glasses of water to flush your system (if your pee is really yellow, you can tell) You might want to go easy on this one because the citric acid might make ya burn a bit. Pro to the citric acid? The acid will prevent bacteria from sticking to your insides and will help you in the process of flushing out the bacteria. Use this to your judgement. I personally found this combined with tea tree oil kinda like the home-run that knocked the sucker out.

That being said, last but not least….the crucial, inexpensive member on the fight team that will help ya a lot is….

Tea Tree Oil.

You can buy tea tree oil in any drug store or natural section and it can cure many things.

I originally used tea tree oil on my acne as a teen, which cleared it up amazingly. In the cold ‘n’ flu season I would drop some droplets into the tub with some eucalyptus extract to help clear my sinuses. Never did I know just by washing myself down there with it, and dropping some drops in while I bathed, would it help me. 10 drops in the bath, or 5 drops on a wash cloth if washing yourself outside the tub. 

Tea Tree Oil is a natural antibiotic. As soon as I used that for two days, almost immediately did I start seeing results. It seriously blew my mind.

I just wanted to write this to share with you all one of my findings just in case for some of you who maybe want to try alternative methods that are not gonna make you shell out 50-80 $ on pills that increase the risk of yeast infection. Not as fast of relief as the pills, but if you want quick, the walk in is good (or if your symptoms are severe- highly recommend going to get something done, especially if it’s targeting your kidneys). If it’s minor, you can also go in to your local natural food supplement business and they will be able to recommend your products 🙂

Hope this helps and blessed be to you all xxx

Peripeteia : The turning point/moment of realization.

Gotta love it when you have finally hit the turning point where you can rescue your damsel-in-distress ass, but sometimes it hits ya like a damn freight train.

My dear friend, Martin Atkins (You rock!),  has taught me a few things about the music & art industry:

  1. Welcome to the Music Industry- you’re fucked!
  2. Get the fuck out of bed!   –and–
  3. Sometimes you have to give a little freebie to reel in people to start buying your works and expanding your fan-base.

Truer words have never been spoken. Martin is like the punk-rock Buddha. (Follow him on twitter at @marteeeen – You won’t regret it and you’ll learn a lot from his magical-ness!) 

I look up to the advice because let’s face it…it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and you don’t wanna come out as the wiener dog versus that huge rottweiler- YOU BE THE ROTTWEILER! The giving away freebies to reel in your fishies definitely works in your favour until you come across the gannets who just want to take,take,take and no give. 

Sometimes these said takers aren’t even in your fanbase. They just want your business to make a profit for them and to hell with you!

This I find totally assholic.

Want me to do a doodle for your tattoo or collab with you? Sure. It will provide exposure. Keep wanting free stuff with no giving back just so you can gain and make a profit? Sorry, hun. I don’t roll that way.

I find it truly hilarious when other entrepreneurs who clam helping other artists and not giving away things for free, when they ask others to do their deeds for them for nothing. Right on, ACDC: Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap.

Just like with anything, the artists/entrepreneurs providing the services put a lot of time, skill, rehearsing, and money into what they do. Lot of money and time spent to hone their skills. So to take it for granted repeatedly and not pay a lick of a cent while you rake in the dough, is beyond awful. Hate to see karma when she comes a-knockin’ at your door!

Makeup Artists (MUAs) see this a lot, too. Even though I’m not a MUA, I do take pride and put a lot of effort into buying good products for my skin/makeup. Most of the times it means you’re paying a bit more for your makeup. My eyeliner costs $20, Foundation $40, Mascara $20, and my eyeshadow palettes were like $55 each, just for an example. Have you even seen the cost for brushes or fake eyelashes? Some eyelashes (kudos to those who know the sale websites for these!) run from 7.99-11.99 in stores for those without access to the sales sites. Brushes, not including the whole set, can run from 40-100$! Now let’s see….asking the MUA to provide their service and use their tools for free? Trust me, even if you tell them, ‘Hey, I only have 20$, is that ok?’ they still appreciate it because you are at least helping replace some of the equipment used as well as the dedication they’ve put into their craft.

Now let’s turn the tables.

For those who are constantly taking and not giving, let’s see ….

Imagine someone saying, ‘Hey! Can I have ________ that you’ve spent soooo much time and money on for free?! Good exposure!’ and they keep coming back for it…Imagine how you would feel…

Sucks, doesn’t it?

Us musicians are constantly getting kicked in the balls over free stuff.

As I said, I will throw out the free download, or pay-what-you-can, or contests so that way there’s giving and getting, which is good and will lead to more profits. But you will get people asking for waaaay much more than what you can give.

Asking a musician to write / compose something for you and not giving a lick of credit/acknowledgement or pay is actually breaking one of the local SOCAN policies and YES…you can get charged. In general, being a fucking weasel like that is just being an awful human being. 

Also doing photography I have seen this ‘Can you shoot ______ (insert event here)___ for free for like 7-9 hours? it’ll give you good exposure!’ Maybe if you’re nice and at least give them some amount they might tack on some surprises, but holy shit the time spent…the expensive cameras and lenses, not forgetting the software and materials to print your work takes a lot! 

All what I’m saying is….take some consideration into what you ask of people. Some won’t mind a small project where you both will come out successful, but if it’s all one sided gain-wise….that’s not cool.

Give a little respect and get a little respect. Let’s all co-exist with each others’ awesomeness and let’s support each other!

After recently coming out of the broom closet myself after 5 years, I had to come across quite the challenge of the reactions of those around me.

Sometimes you will come across others in your life who will openly accept you for you when you come out as Wiccan, then there will also be the ones who are ignorant towards the matter. 

Luckily, My family I live with accepted me right away. My boyfriend accepted me. My best friends accepted me. Everyone pretty much did except for the die-hard bible pushers around me and two in the family.

Did it hurt to have someone in your family look at you as if you were less than them and their religious beliefs and think it was ‘just a phase’ and ‘oh, you’re not one of them are you?’ Yep it did. Quite a lot, actually. And you know what, too? Yes. Yes I am one of them. I am a natural ‘witch’ who uses my gifts and knowledge in natural healing to help those around me. I’m a good person. I respect others who are different than me and still love them unconditionally. Their belief doesn’t make them any more or any less of a person.

I was also told by said family member that my grandmother who passed away (Blessed be your soul Nanny E, I miss you with all my heart xx ) would not approve of me because apparently she contacted my other grandmother and said so. NO. My Nan loved me for me. She supported me and was there for me when no one else would. She never judged me when I came to her and told her what I saw. From the start she could see that I did have gifts of the sixth sense but still loved me and never judged me. Yes, she was Catholic, but she had respect for me when I was first into Wicca. She helped me and got me different books. She loved me for me. I can sense her energy and I even have consulted other mediums if she is proud of who I’ve become and they all say that she is and that I’m forming fine. THAT is what matters to me. 

Instead of yelling and lowering my maturity level down to bashing her religion, I instead gave some links of information to my family member and calmly explained what Wicca is. I know in my heart I am not evil. Sadly, some of the things  I see her church people do completely appall me. How can you go into a place and wear fake smiles with fake attitudes towards your fellow ‘friends’ then go back home with your little ‘clique’ and then talk smack about them? THAT is NOT family.  Respect and love each other. 

For those of you who have came out of the broom closet or are about to, here are some helpful links I found that I like to use to give to people who aren’t too nice or judgemental towards you.

Blessed be and don’t let them put out your shine. Glow, baby, glow.


Helpful Links:


This article came to me after doing a little bit of my own research. I know I follow Wicca for my religion, but never did I know I fell under a category/type. Really, I should have. Look at Christianity having many certain sub-groups such as Anglican, Catholic, Baptist,etc. Same as with Wicca. Recently I have found out that I am part of the NeoWiccans, and that I am an Eclectic Wiccan. 

What is NeoWicca? Well here are the differences between the old movement and the new movement.



NeoWicca/Spirituality is:

•Substance instead of Form

•Personal Experiences vs Dogma

•Heart felt, soul-led, creative expression vs Scripts and Rote rcitation

•Sharing power equally vs High Priest/ess or Hierarchical

•Inner Authority and personal Authenticity vs Outer authority making rules

•Self Dedication instead of initiation to become part of a group/coven

•Open vs being secretive about oneself


(Many thanks to for making such amazing informative articles on such topics.)



Here are some other kinds of Wiccans:





•Blue Star WitchCraft


•British Traditional


plus many others!


A lot of times people wonder how they find out what they fall under. For me, this took 5 years- go figure. Sometimes you will find out after research that you fall under one or maybe even multiple types. 

A note for those who are NeoWiccan like myself: Don’t take the term “NeoWiccan” as an insulting term. You are still part of the Wiccan religion- you just study under a newer method. In the end, we are all witches/ Wiccan. 

Blessed be )O( 

Alrighty. So you all know spiritually so far that I practice Wicca. Thing is, I never really revealed about my gifts or a brief little timeline of the stuff I have gone through. Well, here is a little bit of it and if you all have any questions – feel free to comment/ask! I embrace my gifts and love talking/giving advice.

Gift wise I am a Clairvoyant, Precognitor , Medium (developing more everyday) , Psychometrist , intuitive, as well as being an empath, sensitive, and indigo child. Quite the mix- pot I am, hence the wide range of different experiences I have had.

It all started in 4th grade – hell, maybe even before that, but this is when the more obvious events started happening. 

I always used to see different apparitions just hanging about mostly in the rec room of my grandmother’s. before I actually started experiencing more intense happenings. I remember my best friend and I are hanging out and having a sleepover when I thought it would be cool to look up chants and different spells to open different portals and summon spirits- this was before I became a Wiccan, haha. – and I  didn’t realize until later when I was older that I was dabbling in  dark magick – SHAME ON ME! BAD YOUNGER ME!- We really thought of nothing bad at the time but noticed weird things happening throughout the day but blew it off. Finally it was lights out time and I went to close the door when I saw this creepy looking disfigured entity staring back at me and I could not will myself to look away. My friend came behind me and was all like, ‘What’s taking you so long?’ then she saw IT too. Luckily she was able to get past dumbstruck me and as soon as she closed and locked the door was I able to get out of me frozen state. When we woke up the next morning the room – no lies- was scattered. Shit was everywhere. It traumatized us a slight bit but we eventually forgot. She moved away and I didn’t see her until Grade 9 where when I brought it up she did not even want to discuss what went on. It really shook her up.

Shortly after that same year I was helping my grandmother help my great grandmother bring in the groceries to great gran’s. They proceeded to head up the stairs to the kitchen while I grabbed the last of the groceries and made it past the downstairs rec room where I sae this figure sitting by the downstairs organ that belonged to my great grandpa. I laid down the groceries in the kitchen and turned to both nan and great gran and told them I was going to head back down so great gramps could teach me some stuff on the organ. The look on their faces was priceless. After collecting their jaws off the floor I was told that great gramps had passed (I didn’t know since I wasn’t told) and there was no possible way he was down there. I saw him, though. Plain as day. 

I continued to see things and get into paranormal investigation between the years from grade 10 onward. 

In grade 10 I remember the dreams that used to come to me at the apartment I used to live at where I would see spirits constantly making laps around the apartment outer grounds. I dismissed this as me just totally paranoid after all the stuff that had happened to me until one night. I never could actually look out at the little mound in the backyard where it looked like something once was. I used to see this lady in Victorian Era clothing that would just stand there over that mound. Once again, dismissed this as me just being completely paranoid after all I had been through until I had my first OBE. I crawled into bed and slowly drifted off to sleep where moments later I ‘dreamt’ that I woke up and walked over to the window that faced that mound in the bedroom. I fully remember me looking down at myself to see my exact pj’s I was wearing before I looked back out the window to see that lady standing there and I recall saying , ‘Please leave me be. Cross over. There’s nothing for you left here!’ and when I looked back in my ‘dream’ I saw myself sleeping in the bed and before I could acknowledge what happened I woke up with a start, trying to get my breathing back to normal. That shook me up, to say the least. Ever since that little incident never did I experience that scary lady again. 

Fast forward to my first year studying Music Arts in college. Here is where shit started to get even more intense to me. I also started to discover my own skills how I had mild glimpses into the future at times or could sense things. Sadly my next big spiritual happening happened in a tragic way that hit me hard. The loss of my maternal grandmother. My nan was like a mother to me and she raised me since I was little. I still remember when I got home December 18th, 2012 to find my grandma already in bed and I asked my pa why was nan in bed so early and he just told me she didn’t feel too well. Deep down I could feel something was wrong when I looked at nan. I felt it deep inside and I had a restless night. The next morning when I woke up, Nan turned to me while on the couch and told me to call 911 since she wasn’t feeling too well. Apparently the ‘sickness’ was she experienced a heart attack/stroke. The ambulance came and took her and that’s when I realized we had a lot of guests inside our apartment with me while she was in hospital. 

At the apartment my mom would come over to help me and my pa as well as other family members. One day while I went to my father’s my mother had experienced footsteps go towards the door of the apartment then open the front door. I found it super creepy when told about this when I got home and one day too experienced hearing the footsteps when mom was there with me and we were eating lunch at the table. 

One day at the hospital truly spooked the ever loving shit outta my mother and I. Needless to say, I hated elevators before and after this I didn’t grow any fonder of them. I started getting the munchies since I didn’t eat anything for breakfast that morning so mom and I left nan’s hospital room to go to Tim Horton’s a few floors down. When leaving the room, Nan said ‘Mom! Is that you?’ both mom and I turned around and it spooked us, so we then continued out the door towards the elevator. The damn thing opened by itself without anyone calling it or using it before. Then I could hear Nan say ‘Mom, you came back!’ after the elevator doors closed. Well, thanks for opening the elevator doors for us great gran. We also saw the notorious ‘re appearing footprints’ at the QE II- they legit show up and disappear..burned footprints. Creepy. Later when heading home too that night, the damn elevator let us off in the morgue WITHOUT us asking to go there or anyone calling it from down there. Once again, no elevators for me thanks.

Closer nearing my grandmother’s death, the activity in the apartment continued to increase. I would hear things and see things and see things move in the apartment. One night I woke up to hear a loud bang and scratching of a fork against glass coming from the kitchen. This woke up my pa too and we walked out and I saw the fork laying on the cutting board with no way for it to move and we still could not find what caused the huge loud bang. Truly spooky. 

About two days before my grandmother passed I started to feel things hit me. I felt them. The Spirits. It got so bad I called my mom to come over and it got so bad the feeling in the apartment that I could not stay one minute in that house. I went out to the lobby, paranoid as anything, and curled up in a ball waiting for mom to come. I refused to step foot and enter that apartment alone. I left every light on in the apartment, thinking it would keep me safe.

Finally came the day I was dreading. The day I had to let go of the one who taught me a lot about life. The morning of January 19, 2013 at approximately 2:45am I heard shuffling footsteps in the bedroom. The footsteps scared me enough as it was so I hid my face..but at the same time I wasn’t scared. I recognized them as my nan’s. I was sleeping in her King Size bed she had while pa was asleep in his room. I heard the footsteps stop by my bedside as if it was looking at me and it shuffle-walked over to the size nanny used to sleep on and I heard it stop once again and actually felt the bed sink beside me. As scared as I was, I felt calm from this. What seemed like after an hour or so later I felt a poke and slight shake to wake up to see my mom with her coat on after coming straight from outside and she told me that nan had passed. I walked out to find the family out in the living room where they were discussing the burial plans already at 3:50am. I told all of them in the living room what I had just experienced and they didn’t believe it. Pa spoke up – note: he is a skeptic- and said he heard someone in the house when I experienced what I did and he got up and looked around to find no one. 

As much as everything did at the time bring me closer to the unknown again, but it also let me in on some gifts I didn’t know  I had. 

Not until I left second year of college and graduated did I start getting into getting help from a dear friend to help me awaken and discover my gifts and how to use them for good. I started to turn towards Wicca in college as my belief and it has forever stayed strong with me. I also experienced oppression   for the first time. Or some form of it.  

After coming back from working a show with my best friend and ex band we were just hanging out making food at the studio we went to. Just a bit of info on the place, it was 200 some odd years old and was once a funeral home. This place gave me awful as fuck vibes. Being able to read and communicate now with the other side better I was very susceptible to what went on in there. While there I was able to see a glimpse into the past through flashbacks of what happened as to why they were there. One of the spirits, Emily, age 7-8 who died of TB (fyi: info was passed through me that I found out from her through communication) was pretty attached to me whenever I went in there. She even started showing herself to the current owners once I showed up to the studio. Anyways, back to the night after the show…. We were there at the table and I started to feel suddenly very drained and it was like I was looking through tunnel vision and could not get out of the funk. It made me not act like me. My bandmates and friend said even my eyes were looking a bit ‘off’ as well as my actions. During all of this happening one of my bandmates felt like a stab to the back, and my friend felt a hand run across her shoulders and down her side. One of my other bandmates saw a white figure pass by outside after I looked over at the door and saw this tall man in the doorway that gave me awful vibes. I was not feeling good at all so we all left and after leaving the premises I returned back to energetic me, taking on no recollection of how I acted in there. All I spouted out was that the man, Andrew, made the little girl very nervous and scared in the house. As bad as I didn’t want to return to there after that happening, I was determined to help her cross before I left the label. I felt good to be able to help the little girl. A few months later sadly a fire struck the studio but the house is still standing and every time I see it, I feel the energy still present. The man and this older, not so nice lady spirits still reside but the girl moved on.

Fast forward to the present, I can now see spirits around people in pictures and in real life and read them and pass on info through mediumship. I also have been dabbling in tarot and will be pursuing rune stone readings too. I found it cool that before getting together with my boyfriend I am with now, I saw him before in a vision. Twin flame? I hope. 

There’s a lot that happens to me everyday, but way too much to keep track. Here’s just a few to show you how I got to where I am at now.

A poem I wrote….Inspired by what I have seen and experienced…No one should have to hide something they take pride or comfort in. Enjoy the read and blessed be )O(




Why must I feel hurt?

Why must I feel shame?

When you put me through these

please tell me how in which you gain.

You wear your cross;

I wear my star.

You have your church

whilst I have my altar.

I respect thee

and All I ask is the same in turn for me.

Don’t you know I’m human too?

And What about do unto others as the have unto you?

Why must you turn such a blind eye

and never do you question what or why

Why I practice what I do

even though it does not cause harm to you.

I harm none, so mote it be.

I respect all others as they have me.

Be kind to all is all I ask-

No one should have to wear a mask.



While looking online and never actually putting much thought into it until now, I never thought about how would a wedding ceremony go for those of us Wiccan/Pagan. So what do I do? Read up on it. After doing so, I found it to be so beautiful it got me all emotional over the meaning behind it. 

That being said, the source link is (Never mind the Misspelling of Wiccan …oooh grammar nut alert going off in me) :




Officiant: Please join hands. As your hands are joined, so your lives, Holding each other, Caressing each other, Supporting each other, Loving each other. (Officiant ties the ribbon around ourhands). Groom (repeating after Officiant): I, (Groom), promise you, (Bride), that I will be your husband, From this day forward, To love and respect you, To support and to hold you, To make you laugh And to be there when you cry, To softly kiss you when you are hurting, And to be your companion and your friend, On this journey that we will now make together. Bride: (same thing, names switched) Officiant: Announces to those gathered that we are now bound to each other. (unties the ribbon)

Opening Remarks

Officiant: We have come together here in celebration of the joining together of (enter bride’s name here)and (enter groom’s name here). Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, I ask simply if she comes of her own will and if she has her family’s blessing. (Bride), is it true that you come of your own free will and accord? Bride: Yes, it is true. Officiant: With whom do you come and whose blessings accompany you. Bride’s attendant: She comes with her father, and her mother, and is accompanied by all of her family’s blessings.

Unity Candle Lighting

Officiant: To remind you that the two lives we unite today were created by others, we ask your parents to come forward.[Parents arrive.] Have you any words for this couple? [parents make comments] Bride and Groom: [write something] Officiant:(Groom), this candle represents you. We ask your parents to light your flame as they provided you the spark of life years ago. [parents light candle] Officiant:(Bride), this candle represents you. We ask your parents to light your flame as they provided you the spark of life years ago. [parents light candle] Officiant: (Bride and Groom), this candle represents your union from this day forward. If you are truly ready to merge your lives and your passion, we ask that you light this flame together.

[Bride and Groom light candle using personal candles]

A Second Ceremony

Officiant: Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real, the ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage. With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your creative higher powers.

The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul’s growth. Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?

Bride and Groom: Yes, We Seek to Enter.

Officiant: In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions; East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East. Communication of the heart, mind, and body Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun. The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South. Warmth of hearth and home The heat of the heart’s passion The light created by both To lighten the darkest of times.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West. The deep commitments of the lake The swift excitement of the river The refreshing cleansing of the rain The all encompassing passion of the sea.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North Firm foundation on which to build Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives A stable home to which you may always return.

Each of these blessings from the four cardinal directions emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy and successful union. Yet they are only tools. Tools which you must use together in order to create what you seek in this union. I bid you look into each others eyes. [Groom’s Name], Will you cause her pain?

Groom: I May

Officiant: Is that you intent?

Groom: No

Officiant: [Bride’s Name], Will you cause him pain?

Bride: I may

Officiant: Is that you intent?

Bride: No

Officiant: [To Both] Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?

Bride and Groom: Yes

Officiant: And so the binding is made. Join your hands *First cord is draped across the bride and grooms hands* [Bride’s Name], Will you share his laughter?


Officiant: [Groom’s Name], Will you share her laughter?

Groom: Yes

Officiant: *To Both* Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?

Bride and Groom: Yes

Officiant: And so the binding is made. *Second chord is draped across the couples hands* [Bride’s Name], Will you burden him?

Bride: I may

Officiant:Is that you intent?

Bride: No

Officiant:[Groom’s Name], Will you burden her?

Groom: I may

Officiant:Is that your intent?

Groom: No

Officiant: Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?

Bride and Groom: Yes

Officiant:And so the binding is made. *Drape third chord across the couples hands* [Bride’s Name], will you share his dreams?

Bride: Yes

Officiant:[Groom’s Name], will you share her dreams?

Groom: Yes

Officiant:*To Both* Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?

Bride and Groom: Yes

Officiant:And so the binding is made. *Drape fourth chord across the couples hands* [Groom’s Name], will you cause her anger?

Groom: I may

Officiant: Is that you intent?

Groom: No

Officiant: [Bride’s Name], will you cause him anger?

Bride: I may

Officiant: Is that your intent?

Bride: No

Officiant: *To Both* Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?

Bride and Groom: We Will

Officiant: And so the binding is made. *Drape fifth chord across the couples hands* [Bride’s Name], Will you honor him?

Bride: I will

Officiant: [Groom’s Name], Will you honor her?

Groom: I will

Officiant: *To Both* Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?

Bride and Groom: We shall never do so

Officiant: And so the binding is made. *Drape sixth chord across the couples hands* *Tie chords together while saying:* The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making of breaking of this union. *Once chords are tied together they are removed and placed on altar*



Apache Wedding Poem, read by [member of the bridal party of your choosing]Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be a shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no loneliness for you, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you. May your days be good and long upon the earth!

Officiant: Now that you have joined yourselves in matrimony, may you strive always to meet this commitment with the same spirit you now exhibit. We all bear witness to this ceremony you have just performed and you may now call yourselves by those old and respected names, husband and wife. Bless this union. You may kiss the bride.

Exchange of Rings

Officiant: (Bride and Groom), as these circles are designed without an ending, they speak of eternity. May the incorruptible substance of these rings represent a love glowing with increasing lustre through the years. Bless these rings which you give to each other as the sign of your love, trust, and faithfulness. Groom (repeating after Officiant): Take this ring as a sign of my love, and as a symbol of all that we share, in token and pledge, of my constant faith and abiding love.Bride: (same thing, switched)





All Credits go to Author of the Article at All Seasons Weddings! 

Double Standards.

The thing that makes close to the top of my list for things that really peeve me off. Mostly due to the fact that it is completely un-necessary, plus it is a completely wrong thing to do.

I am a very down-to-earth, do unto others kinda gal. Sadly, I think I might have been walking through a pink tinted haze when it comes to the issue I’m about to address. It more so hurts and upsets me more than it fills me with anger. 

Religion and Spirituality. 

Double Standards. 

Yup. I know, I know, a chorus of ‘You should’ve known!’ are about to come raining in on me like acid rain. But for real…I never wanted to believe in my heart that society could really and truly be that awful and disrespectful. 

As known, I am a Wiccan. I have actually started to come out as a Wiccan the past year and a bit due to how society reacts towards those who have a different way of thinking versus the higher majority. After leaving my timid-ness behind, I started to wear my pentacle of the Goddess with pride and start to adorn my room with my Wiccan pieces. Bless my family, they did not judge me and for those that did they actually leant an open ear for me to explain what Wicca is- NOT what media portrays it as. My Grandmother – who I like to consider one of my close friends- did not understand the concept, like others, and assumed it was occult and I worshipped Satan and stuff that was completely opposite of what Wicca actually is. I am very grateful that she actually let me explain to her what being Wiccan actually entails and then that helped shed a whole new light. No, we do not recruit others or try to conform them; all we ask is to not be ignorant and not to believe the false connotations the media has given us. So after ‘coming out’ as Wiccan and being accepted by family and friends, I sadly came to a very disheartening road bump.

The rest of society.

Where I live at is not exactly what one would classify as a bible belt due to quite a fair amount of others being Wiccan/Pagan in the municipality -they to are kinda hush hush as well due to how people react to us- but a bit more than 3/4 of the people residing in my town are all seniors (some families, middle aged as well) that are church- fanatics. Not saying that all church people are mean towards us here, but there are some rare ones who are very kind to us , and to that- I thank you for being so kind.

It’s wrong when you can’t wear your Pentagram/ Pentacle without someone taking offence or it having to be removed because it might make someone uneasy. 

What about my feelings?

Ever think that maybe I feel uneasy seeing church people walk in with their prayer beads and crosses because I know that they will judge me for wearing my own? I could easily use that for my defence but I’d rather not. I respect them. That’s the difference.

I respect that they find comfort in their beliefs and I would never ask them to remove something of value like that. That is just plain wrong. I would never ask someone to do that and make them hide something they should be able to wear proudly and take pride in.

We are not better than anyone else, we are all equals. We should all look at each other in a light of respect and try our best to understand each other and our differences. Even when we come across someone different than ourselves, instead of being ignorant instead we should take a small portion of our time to learn about them. 

That being said, be kind to one another. Do not judge. Do not strip away someone’s colours and try to paint them with a different brush. We all have something to offer and to teach one another, only if we open our mind and hearts to it.

Blessed be )O(